1. I once had to call the vets office with a very embarrasing question. "Yeah, um, my 27 pound male corgi pulled my used NuvaRing out of the trash and ate half of it. Do you think there are enough hormones in it that it'll cause him any harm?" After trying hard not to laugh at me, the receptionist put me on hold. Came back and said, "The doctor has never heard of that happening before, but she thinks that by the time the ring comes out there wouldn't be enough hormones left to really cause any problems." Leave it to Ein to be the one to make me ask whether or not eating birth control could hurt a male dog.
(Ein is barking frantically at 6:30 am when we are getting out of bed and getting dressed)
Me: What the heck is he barking at?
Lucas: No telling.
(I go out in the living room. Lucas' birthday balloon had fallen off the chair and is floating around the room by itself. Ein is staring at it barking. I go behind the balloon and give it a little tap so that it moves closer to Ein. He scrambles backwards, barking his head off. Repeat. Several times.)
Me (laughing): He's barking at the balloon. He doesn't like that it can walk around by itself.
Colleen (rough collie):
Just a few weeks ago, we spent two hours sitting in the waiting room at the vet's office. Colleen is a rescue with a rough past. She has a history of repeat demodectic mange, allergies, severe dry skin, malformed tear ducts and seperation anxiety. When you take her some place unfamiliar, she gets very whiney. Not only did she have various other people telling her hush and stop whining, but there was a very young Aussie puppy in the waiting room, too. Colleen's only distraction from whining was being petted and being mesmerized by the Aussie pup. The most embarrassing moment of the wait: She jumped around and gave a play bow to the puppy and she ignored her. My three year old collie got turned down for play by a young Australian shepherd puppy. And then spent the rest of the wait whining.
Mom: Why did you cut all the hair off of her butt?
Me: It had a mat in it because she doesn't let me brush her butt well enough. (Whenever I try to brush her butt, she sits down and hides it from me). I couldn't cut out just the mat and leave the rest of her butt fluff there. It looked funny.
Tucker (lab mix)
Tuck's a big old scardy cat, and it can be embarrassing to have him be a fraidy cat in front of others. Like the time we left him with Grandpa while we were on vacation. Grandpa said that Tucker literally dragged him across the street trying to get away from.... a fire hydrant. What dog is scared to death of a fire hydrant?
Tucker also frequently moos like a cow. And plays with tennis balls by batting at them like a cat would. When you get a ball out, he doesn't want to fetch after it like Colleen does. He wants to steal it so that it can sit down in a corner and chew on it or bat at it.
It's also quite embarrasing to have a neighbor hear you standing at the door shouting "Tucker, go poo!" But if you tell him to "go potty" he just finds another place to pee a bit more.
Dog ownership in general:
Calling up an 800 number on the package of flea preventative because the liquid spilled out while you were cutting it open and got on your hands. And then transfered to your mouth. And no matter what you do, you can't get rid of that awful taste. So you have to call and ask them how to get the taste out of your mouth. To save others the same embarrasment, they told me to try bread or peanut butter, or alcohol. Which led to another embarrasing moment - that was the first time I had ANY alcohol after starting anti-depressants. A single wine cooler was enough to make me feel sick. Talk about medication not mixing well with alcohol, lol.
Anyone: What are they all barking at?
(look out the window and see nothing)
Me (or Lucas): Who knows. I think they see ghosts.
haha thats why i always put my garbage up, im sooo afraid of neeka getting my ring. one time when i had guests over she came out of the room with a pair of panties and layed it at my friend feet like a gift haha. or one time crossing this very busy road she decides to stop and poop right in the middle of the road, everyone was staring at me and watching me pick it up, then the guy waiting infront of me started clapping. it was embarrassing haha.
One time I came home with my boyfriend for the first time and there were little bits of paper shredded around the foyer. As soon as we stepped in the puppy trotted up with a tampon dug out of the trash in her math. My little girl, always teaching me the importance of covered trashcans....
Today, I took my doggie to the outdoor mall. I tried to coax her to poop before, but she wouldn't, so I figured she was empty. She pooped in the middle of the sidewalk later. I nonchallantly picked it up, but before I could a suited man with wing tipped shoes trod on it. Everyone around noticed but him, and I wasn't about to tell him.... Hopefully he walked it off before he got where he was going...
When we first started going on walks after his shots he would poop once and I would pick it up. Then he started pooping once, I would pick it up, then pooping again later in a neighbors yard, but I only had that one bag!!! I do not think anyone saw but I left it there and got it the next walk, but I felt like people were watching thinking how much of a bad neighbor I was.
When Banjo ws a puupy she managed to eat one of the underwires out of a pricey silk bra. She nipped a little hole at the seam, pulled the wire out, left the rest of the bra in a heap, then took the wire over to the bed to chew it, which is how I found her when I came home. It was a pretty clever way to be naughty!
Well right now my corgi pup is to young to have done anything embarrassing yet. But my old dog Kiara (who was a beagle) loved to chew on my clothes (clean and dirty.) One day I had friends over and she went into my drawer and pulled out a few of my pairs of underwear and brought them out to the living room to chew on. And yes they were clean!
And as a response to Ein not liking balloons Kiara was deathly terrified by balloons. She was scarred for life by a floating balloon. It was really funny.