Ravioli is finally home, but I have some concerns

let me first preface this by saying that this post will be long, but i ask that you please read because i really need some support from the community. please!!!

Ravioli came home saturday evening, and he seemed pretty ok with us (my boyfriend and i). we brought him back to the apartment and he explored a lot. the breeder said he hadn't used the bathroom all day (which was from before 9am to 630pm when we got him). we took him out a couple times that night and he still never went to the bathroom. he got tired pretty early and fell asleep on the floor. when i was ready to go to the bed i picked him up and transferred him to his crate. he never made a peep. i woke up at 7 to let him out because i heard he was awake (he didn't whine at all that night) and after walking around outside FOREVER he finally went to the bathroom (poo and pee). he also hates his leash, but i'll get to that in a minute. i brought him back inside and he went to his crate and fell asleep.. i kind of had a mini internal freak out because i was coming to the realization that my sleep schedule wouldn't be normal for a little while (we went to bed early because he fell asleep early and woke up early). after a little while i decided i wanted to go to sleep again and i wanted to make sure he was safe so i shut the door to his crate (when he was already inside) he started doing the high pitched bark (he hadn't barked once since i got him). so not feeling like dealing with it at that moment (i just wanted sleep!) i opened the door and barricaded a section of my room for him to be safe in while i slept. i know that it is bad that i let him out when he barked but everyone else was still asleep and i didn't feel like dealing with people being angry at me and let me explain that.. i'm having a bit of an internal crisis. i realized that when i wanted to sleep he wanted to be awake, and when i wanted to be awake he wanted to sleep. on top of that, he has been so depressed. he just lays around giving me these horribly sad looks. his depression is really rubbing off on me and has been making me feel really depressed. i felt really lonely all day yesterday and almost felt like crying a few times because he just lays on the ground and looks up at me with these sad, sad eyes. and on top of that, he wouldn't eat at all. he would drink, but wouldn't eat. and i took him out 800 times yesterday for 20-30 minutes each and he WOULD NOT GO TO THE BATHROOM! he still has not gone to the bathroom since yesterday at 7am. he hasn't gone inside which is good, but still! so that's also upsetting me. i mean i was prepared to handle potty training him and dealing with him going inside, but i was not prepared to handle him not going at all! i just don't know what to do! i obviously can't MAKE him go. so this is making me feel upset too. i keep taking him out with hopes he'll use the bathroom and then just get terribly upset and concerned when he doesn't, and then he just goes straight back to laying lifelessly on the ground. my boyfriend keeps telling me that he's just still trying to get used to being away from his brothers and sisters and he'll eventually come around, but i can't help feeling this way. i really wish he would at least stop with the depressing looks! i can get him to get up and play with me for a little while, but it only lasts about 5 minutes before he goes back to laying down.. then last night he went to sleep early-ish (like 9 or 10) well actually i don't know if he was fully sleeping or just being mopey because he  would open his eyes every few minutes when a sound was made. anyway, we took him out around 1130 and STILL nothing. he came back inside and laid down again. a little after 12 we decided to go to bed and moved to the bedroom and he followed us in there, then my boyfriend decided that now would be a good time to start playing with him.. he played with him until close to 1 and then we decided to go to bed. so i put him in the crate in our room and he started yelping and howling. my boyfriend was not pleased with me (because he doesn't see why he NEEDS to be crate trained) and i'm sure his roommate wasn't too happy either.. so we decided to move his crate into the kitchen so he couldn't see us and so if he stopped barking, he wouldn't start up again if he heard us shuffle in the bed. after about 10-15 minutes he finally shut up and we went to sleep. well lucky for us, his roommate decided that 2am was a good time to go to the drugstore and woke ravioli up and he started yelping again. i'm sure our neighbors really love us (the walls are thin at the apartment). then after a while he shut up again and didn't make any noise through the night. my boyfriend woke up around 6am to work on a paper and didn't let ravioli out until 7 and said that he heard ravioli moving around in the crate but he didn't make any noise. he took him outside and still no bathroom... i woke up around 8 because i was worried about him and went into the living room and he was just laying on the floor next to the couch where my boyfriend was sitting and sleeping. so i went back to bed but was so worried about him that i couldn't go back to sleep. i reemerged at 930 and sat on the opposite couch for a little while. my boyfriend finally got him to eat by sitting on the ground with him and putting some food in his hand and then leading him to the bowl, where ravioli proceeded to lick it clean. if he was so hungry, why wouldn't he eat before?! =P but he still has yet to go to the bathroom. is it normal for a 4 month old puppy to be able to hold it that long? obviously since he wasn't eating much, there probably wasn't much to excrete but he was at least drinking water and theoretically should have had to pee.. i don't know, i'm just very concerned. 

and let's talk now about his leash... he HATES IT!! he is fine with his collar, and hasn't tried to get it off, but absolutely hates his leash. when i take him out on the leash he will humor me for a little while and sniff along behind me, but then after a while he will just turn into a stone and refuse to move. sometimes he'll just plop down in the grass and refuse to move. then he'll roll around and try to get the leash off. i've been trying not to tug on him, but i'll go in front of him and make sure there's no give on the leash and just stand with my back towards him without making any noise or looking back at him. he'll eventually start slowly moving forward and i start making excited noises and patting my leg to encourage him to move and he will for a little while, until he decides he doesn't like it again.. it's very frustrating! i would like to take him on a walk but he won't walk! he'll just slowly sniff around behind me and then become a stone. if i let him outside without the leash he will follow me around slowly sniffing behind me and won't stop, but with the leash he just.. i don't know! and it's also frustrating and concerning that he won't use the bathroom! he'll sniff around a lot and even sniff other dog's poo but won't go himself. after a while he just lays down in the grass and rolls around. 

i just don't know what to do because i feel so worried/frustrated/depressed/upset that he won't go to the bathroom and that all he does is mope around and sleep or give me depressing looks! did anyone else feel this way? some supportive words would really help right now, i just feel so overwhelmed with all these unexplainable emotions. 

and what's the best thing i can do about the crate thing? i'm sure it was not a good idea that we played with him before putting him to bed, because i'm sure he wanted to play more. i usually go to bed late (between 12-2am). would it be better to crate him in another room earlier on when he starts falling asleep and then retreating to my room until i decide i want to sleep? at least this way he won't yelp in the middle of the night waking up all of the neighbors.. and how long does it usually take for him to get used to his crate? how many nights will he yelp like this? i know i'm not supposed to let him out and i don't plan on it, but it also doesn't help knowing that everyone who can hear him probably hates me. i'm fine with going to sleep with the yelping, but others aren't. 

what's really throwing me off is how his depression is rubbing off on me. all i do is worry about him! 

what do you guys think?

here's a picture of him looking depressed

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Comment by Emily & Scout on April 23, 2012 at 2:11pm

About the licking:  Scout licks all the time just like you said, and I think someone else on here has a corgi that licks.  I don't mind it so I let her.  She gets her teeth brushed regularly, so it can't be that bad. 

I'd definately rather have licking than nipping when it comes to a puppy.

Hope she gets adjusted to her new life and overcomes her fear of the leash.

Comment by Jane on April 23, 2012 at 1:57pm

I'd carry treats with you when you take him out to potty, and give it to him immediately after. Their attention span isn't very long at that age and by the time you get in the house he may not realize what the treat was for. Good to hear he is acting more cheery!

Comment by Kaley and Ravioli on April 23, 2012 at 1:35pm

a quick update: i just took him outside and he pooped! i praised him like crazy and gave him a treat when we got back inside. i wasn't sure if he peed though, because like Jane said he doesn't crouch or anything. sometimes he'll just sit down.. he is being much more playful now that we're back inside. he was laying lifelessly on the ground before i coaxed him outside. maybe it is just all in my head and i'm letting it affect him. because right now i'm playing with him and cuddling him and he's giving me that corgi smile i've been dying to see! =)

i surely hope he isn't peeing anywhere in the apartment.. i'm hoping that maybe he is going outside and is just super discrete about it. i'm going to sign off for a bit, someone wants to play..! =)

p.s. he likes to lick a lot of things, the ground, my shirt, my leg, the carpet, my boyfriends beard.. is this normal?
Comment by Jane on April 23, 2012 at 1:23pm

I totally agree with everything Melissa said. If he's been with the breeder his whole life this is a huge change for him, it will take some time for him to adjust. You need to be the stronger one and try to feel happy and cheery around him because he will feed off of your emotions. I'm sure you probably had a lot of expectations of what he would be like, but all dogs are individuals, and he may be sensitive and not feel comfortable right away. I remember being so upset when Henry was a puppy because he didn't come to the door to greet me when I got home. Well, he still doesn't. That's just how he is, and I accept that. I don't think he loves me any less!


If he's vaccinated why not take him to Petco or something where he can get out and socialize a bit? Call around for puppy play groups in your area; my vet, daycare and humane society all offer them here. Use treats to coax him along when you're walking him, or a really fun toy he likes. Leash training takes time like everything else. I'd highly recommend a puppy class too.


I personally would keep his crate in your room, and keep him on your schedule (whatever that is). If you put him to bed at 9 and you don't go to bed until 2, well he's probably gonna be up at 6 am and so will you. There is no one answer for how long they will cry in the crate. Henry cried for days and days....Luke was like 1 day. It's just something you have to deal with.


I would definitely make sure he is still drinking enough water, puppies can't hold it forever and he should be peeing more often than once a day or whatever he's been doing. Are you sure he's not peeing and you just didn't notice? The only way I could tell with Henry when he was little was, well, the wick was wet so to speak. He did not crouch or stretch out at all when he peed. But I'd suggest getting him in to see the vet anyway since you just got him.

Comment by Ellen Andersen on April 23, 2012 at 1:16pm

Perhaps a harness would work better than a leash attached to a collar?  I don't know...just an idea.  Also, when he does poop and piddle outside praise him likes it's the most awesome thing you've ever seen anyone do.

Comment by Ellen Andersen on April 23, 2012 at 1:13pm

Everyone's already given great advice.  It will all work out but the little guy's gone through some HUGE life changes the last few days....be patient, calm, and loving and he'll soon feel at home.  A schedule, as hard as they are to keep (at least for me) helps alot, too.  The hardest part, though, is not giving in to the whining and stuff, but you can't blame a pup for trying!

He's adorable!  Just give the little guy some time to get used to a whole strange new world with strange new people in it.

Comment by k g read on April 23, 2012 at 1:13pm

I do remember all the worry when I first brought Merlin home. The breeder gave us some bedding from the sleeping area for the litter which helped I think. Don't know if your breeder is close enough for you to get something.  We had some time adjusting to the crate.  For several nights I put him in his crate and put the crate on the bed with me and didn't get as much sleep as normal but he was quieter. He eventually found a spot he liked to lay in and I would put the crate in that area with door open for him to go in and out. I also suspect he is pottying somewhere.  If you are worried perhaps a visit to the vet would alleviate your stress.

Comment by Chris, Kadi & Brodie on April 23, 2012 at 1:06pm

Melissa pretty well covered it! If you follow her advice, you should be in good shape! I was really lucky with Kadi--she never fussed or whined at all and was already potty trained when we got her. The breeder had let her stay with friends while she took the other pups (not yet sold) to a goat show, so it wasn't Kadi's first separation. Also, she's extremely independent and we had our Boston Terrier. Having an older dog to 'train' a puppy makes life much easier! LOL Just be very regular and try not to stress out. Corgis are very sensitive and if you are stressed, he will be too.

Comment by Kaley and Ravioli on April 23, 2012 at 1:01pm

Melissa, he was with the breeder all 4 months. he was with her that long because she held him for me until i was ready for him to come home. he has had all of his vaccines except for his rabies one which he'll get at 6 months. i'm planning on taking him to the vet on thursday for his first visit with me. 

he does have free roam of the apartment, but he doesn't leave my side. he'll just lay on the ground next to the couch i'm sitting on. i've been checking his crate and it's been clean. the whole apartment has hard floor except for the bedroom, where he only has access to a small portion because we blocked most of it off. the carpets are white so we would be able to see the discoloration, but haven't found anything yet so far.

i don't want him to be an on-furniture dog, so i've been trying to sit on the ground with him while i watch tv instead of sitting on the couch. he'll come and lay right up against my leg.

you are probably right about the depression cycle, i've been trying to play with him and cuddle him and not let on how i feel.

Comment by Donna and Lilly on April 23, 2012 at 12:53pm

Anytime there is a change, there is going to be an adjustment period.  He may be really missing his kennel mates right now.  The thing is, keep a routine.  Eat at the same time, nap, crate, etc.  It is just like having a baby in the house.  Sometimes things get disrupted, and that is an oh well....people will get over it.  Lilly hated the leash too, she still does.  But she knows she gets to go someplace with it, so she tolerates it. He should be coming out of his shell in the next day or so I would think.  I have other dogs, so Lilly missed her kennel mates at night, but had others to keep her busy during the day.  Dont let it bring you down.  He will get better.  He is a cutie too!!

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