"What happened to your dog's tail?"
Let's hear everybody's witty retorts to this common question and I'll collect them into a FAQ. C'mon, everyone has at least 17 of these. Thanks for you contribution to this important work. Here's what we have so far:
"Same thing that happened to her legs."
"There's a reason you're supposed to face the door in an elevator."
"Details, details."
"He used to belong to some farmer's wife. He doesn't look much like a blind mouse to me, either, but it happened..."
"Don't ever run after a farmer's wife if she's got a carving knife."
"It got caught in the cat door."
"I used to grab her by the tail and swing her out the door, and one day it fell off."
"They charge extra for tails."
"She was chasing her tail. She caught it."
"We used to have this really powerful leaf blower..."
"It got curtailed." [This is an ancient, notorious pun about the Dog Watch in the British Royal Navy, which is half as long as a regular watch to accommodate supper.]
"Well, you've heard of Ox-Tail Soup?"
"I come from northern Minnesota. 'Cold enough to freeze your tail off' is not just a figure of speech."
"It got caught in the CDRW loading tray, and and you know the little laser inside that burns the CD.....?"
"There's a reason why he runs from the vacuum..."
"What do you mean? It's right there!"
[Looking at nub in feigned surprise] "OMG! It's gone!"
"Well, see, we went up this escalator..."
"She only wears it for special occasions."
"Oh gosh, we left it at home with his stilts.."
"She checked it at the door at a party and forgot to pick it up."
"His brother chewed it off...just like his legs and his collar. I hate when that happens."
"Well, my nephew was running with scissors..."
"We taught the kids never to stick their fingers into electric outlets or empty light-bulb sockets, so ..."
"There's a reason she doesn't chop wood with me anymore..."
"There was this dog, once, wandering around a railroad yard -- keeping an eye and ear open for moving trains -- one day a SWEET little bitch came strutting by, and he was smitten to distraction and didn't hear the train coming. As the wheels ran right over his beautiful tail, he whirled around, realizing his mistake too late, and BAM! his addled little head smacked into the side of the train. Poor guy. This is what's known as losing your head over a piece of tail."
"Losing it was the price for joining the Yakuza. Don't mess with these dogs."
"She's a rescue; used to live with a butcher who ran a sausage shop..."
"He lost it in a poker game."
"They shed their tails every year, like deer shed their antlers. They take about 6 months to grow back."
"Same thing that happened to my tail."
"She was born without one, so we bought her this lovely fluffy tail from our friend the nice Gypsy lady -- it cost a lot because it's a magic tail that only quality people of discernment, good taste and virtue can see."
"She was off cadging treats when they were passing them out."
"They don't need tails; you pick them up by the ears."
"She ran her tail off doing agility."
"I pulled so hard on his ears when he was a puppy, that I pulled his tail in."
"She kept wagging it in front of the TV."
"It kept getting caught on my watch."
"I forgot to put it back on last time I used it for a duster."
"He heard the old cliche' about 'the **** hitting the fan' and thought it would be a fun April Fools' Day prank. Unfortunately, his tail hit the fan. Hoist on his own petard."
"Shark attack".
"Unknowingly, we took her to a stoned dog groomer; told him to comb her fur and cut her NAILS."
"Don't slam doors."
I know it's out-of-fashion, but we could actually tell the TRUTH:
"Corgwyn are a gift of the faeries, whom they served as steeds and companions. Long ago, the corgwyn rebelled against the faerie queen, who fastened their tails to the ground as retribution; not to be dominated, these plucky creatures gained their freedom by pulling so hard that their tails broke off. Since then, their service to the faeries has been voluntary. But they have no tails to this day."
Thanks everybody, keep them coming.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Trice on
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These are funny! My boring, "ummm, cuz it's the breed standard?" answer pales in comparison. Looking forward to seeing more.
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Permalink Reply by Jeff, Karen, Violet and Magnus on
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These are great. My husband give Violet and Magnus their walk every morning and someone almost always ask this and the leg question. I'll have to make sure he sees these so he can give a clear retort to the obvious.
We also get a lot of "what kind of dog is that?" My husband usually says "the wild savannah pit corgi" or the "minature firece anatoliyan shepard". What is truly sad is how many people actually believe that.
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Permalink Reply by Julie on
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In a tail related story...
Once Caleb and I were on a walk when we ran into a little 2-3 yr old girl and her Grandma. Grandma and the little girl came over to say hi, and this little girl thought Caleb was the GREATEST THING EVER and she was jabbering and squealing all the while Grandma was speaking to her in Chinese. After a bit I could tell Caleb was ready to continue our walk so I said, "Ok time to go, say bye bye" and we went along our way. Up to this point, the little girl hadn't said anything I could understand but she was very animatedly talking to Grandma.
When we got a few steps away, she suddenly turned around and shouted,
"BYE BYE GOGGIE WIH DA NO TAIL!!!'
Most. Awesome. Kid. Ever.
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Permalink Reply by Mister Jack on
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Ha ha. How amusing! :3
I'm fond of " Well... There's a reason why he runs from the vacuum..."
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Permalink Reply by Susan Stanton on
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I usually point to the tail end, and say, "What do you mean? It's right there!" Often then they back away from the odd woman and the dog that may or may not have a tail.
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Permalink Reply by Boo Buchheit on
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Those are funny..Susan's too. No one has ever asked me about Leo's tail. If it came up I might say that he has one but it is short cause his legs are short and he didn't want it dragging on the ground.
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or, alternatively, oh gosh, we left it at home with his bag of stilts.....
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Permalink Reply by Sarah C. on
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My dad, he has alzheimer's so jokes are rare from him, he tells people that she checked it at the door at a party and forgot to pick it up.
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Permalink Reply by Sky and Lyla on
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I also have an Aussie and they have their tails docked too, so both of my dogs have "missing tails." A friend of mine has two little boys that love to play with my dogs, and one of them asked me "Why your dogs have no tails?" I said, "because I don't like dogs with tails." The looks on the their faces were priceless!
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Permalink Reply by Alex on
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She was a bit constipated, and was working really hard to do-do her business. At the corner of my eyes, I saw something fall near her bottom, and thought to my self, "good, finally" when she came running to me, I realized... "oh..." She must've worked a bit too hard... :p
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His brother chewed it off...just like his legs and his collar. I hate when that happens.
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Permalink Reply by Julia on
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There was this dog, once, see, and he was wandering around a rail yard, as boy dogs are wont to do. Always keeping an eye and ear open for an oncoming train. Well, one day a SWEET little bitch came strutting by, and our little boy was stricken. His tail started going "thump, thump, thump" along with his heart. As she strutted by he couldn't keep his eyes off her. So stricken was he, he didn't hear the train coming. As the wheels ran right over his beautiful tail, he whirled around, realizing his mistake too late, and BAM! his addled little head slammed into the side of the train. Poor little boy.
This is what's known as losing your head over a piece of tail.
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