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The one I hear all the time: "I look terrible in pictures."  

"Why can't I keep my sunglasses on?"

After two clicks of the shutter: "Stop!  How many do you have to take??" 

"That camera must be expensive, it must take nice pictures."

"I get great pictures with my cell phone camera."

Then I get a nice picture of someone, touch it up in the computer, it's clear, pleasant, nice lighting, a happy smile (caught between their scowls), and truly flattering of them.  They see it and say "Oh God!  I look terrible!  That's an awful picture of me!" "I look so old!"  "I look too fat!"  "My hair isn't THAT gray!"

That's why I like photographing Corgis, they are always comfortable with themselves and always love their pictures.

Very funny!

When we are photographing hotels we hear all the time, several times a day....  'I'm ready for my close-up'. "if you take my picture you will make a million bucks' or 'I'll break the camera'. People step in front of the camera which is on the tripod and say 'Here I am'. As if we have never heard this and it is the funniest thing in the world.

When we photograph people we always say this is the keeper or this is the last one then we keep on clicking away and tell them photographers always lie. ; - )

I have heard : " I want something really different!"  a million times.

"Are you using your 'skinny' lens?"  is popular also.

I LOVE this video!  I think I've heard them all.

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