Oh retractable lead, you were supposed to be so amazing. I had dreams of regulating dog-to-master distance ratios on the fly in real time. You were supposed to be multi-purpose, allowing my pup the freedom of movement and the restriction of a short-lead in one sleek glossy package. You cost upwards of 50 dollars, but I thought you were worth it. I was never told that your cord is extremely tactile/textured, and that it sticks to the things your dog encircles. Your fanciful package never listed how much of a negative influence the irregularity of distance would have on a young puppy. I have learned my lesson, and I am purchasing a normal lead tomarrow. Mabye I wont fall victim to the false marketing this time around. You should be ashamed retractable lead....
I was not aware how much of an annoyance this would cause me in the weeks to come when I purchased it. It was only today that I realised the problem. I intercepted a critical revolution-note that had no doubt spread in my local dog community. I confronted Cheez-it on the subject, he exclaimed "but all the dogs are doing it!!". I have attached a copy of said note, it's only a matter of time before this teenage-corgi trend shows up on 20/20.
Have you guys been watching Animal Planet? There is this hot new fad, all of the cool pup's are into it. It's a great dog strategy game that is sweeping the hipster-scene. It's called "Run your leash around things while your owner flails around screaming looking like an idiot in front of the neighborhood". Basically when your owner takes you out on a lead, you go into a frapping frenzy circling objects and effectively wrapping them in leash-cord. For every item you tangle up you get 1 point, and you get 2 points for each "wrap" you get on your master. There is a 5 point bonus for wrapping around other dogs, and a 25 point bonus for wrapping a Chihuahua (I hate Chihuahua's). See if you can beat my high-score of 37 in a single "wrap". Okay bark at you later!
-Cheez-it
On a more serious note:
Will a standard leash help with the leash training? He doesnt "bite" the leash, he just runs to the edge of the allowable distance and keeps pulling. I cannot even lure him back in with food!! He almost choked a chihuahua with his leash-alligator death roll.
Also, he does tricks, usually the first time I say the command. But after one or two times he starts getting impatient and flails about. He simply cannot focus and randomy checks my other hand that I use to guide him in the learning process. What are some good focus-related training procedures?
and finally...
What is up with Hiccups and dog nails? He gets the hiccups at least once a day, usually right before food-time, it's actually sort of cute. Nails, yes he has them of course, I tried trimming them today, and he wasnt having it. I can touch his paws but when I try to cut them he thinks I have food in my hand or something. I also noticed that he has all white nails except for his one "gloved" paw that has 2 black nails. What denotes the color? Does it have something to do with pigment? I would think his black nails would be on his non-white paws then...
Thanks for hearing me out!
-James
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