Hello from Kanas~

I joined this site last week looking for some kind of hope as my veterinarian diligently searched for the reason my sweet Kinsey was in renal failure.  

She was tested for Addison's, Lepto, given sub q fluids, put on 2 antibiotics and 3 other meds hoping to see some kind of improvement.  Every test result came back negative as her creatinine and phosphorus levels continued to climb higher and higher and she continued losing weight at about a pound a day.

By Thursday evening I knew in my heart that my lil girl was not going to get better and Friday morning her doctor confirmed my worst fear; so with a heavy heart I made the hardest decision there is as a pet owner and did the loving, caring and humane thing and let her go.  

My home is SO empty without her.  Everywhere I look, I look to see her.  I miss the sound of her nails on the linoleum floor in morning when I make coffee and the way she always cleaned my kitchen floor of every crumb.  I want to call her name, but know it will only bring me more pain when she doesn't come. 

I know they say time heals all wounds, but this is one wound that will NEVER heal.

If anyone reading this has had a similar experience, I would appreciate hearing about it.  

 

Broken and tearfully,

Janice...and in memory of Kinsey

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Comment by Denise Hawkins on September 19, 2011 at 10:08pm
Oh Janice my heart breaks for you, I know what a heart breaking choice that is, and my own heart tore in half when we had to let Basil go.  He was a special boy and much loved, we now have a new boy in our lives and I know that Basil brought him to us when we were ready to love again.  I can remember our 1st corgi baby with smiles now and very few tears.  Know that you gave Kinsey a wonderful life and one day you will be reunited again xxxxx  My thoughts and love are with you xxxxx
Comment by Sam Tsang on September 19, 2011 at 8:57am
I am so sorry for your loss Janice :(
Comment by Janice Harvey on September 18, 2011 at 11:06pm

Thank you everyone for your kind words, thoughts and prayers at this difficult time.  Even though I don't you personally, the love of our Corgis brings us to this site and forms friendships across the miles.  May God bless each of you for your kindness.

Treasuring the memories,

Janice (and in memory of Kinsey)

 

Comment by Teresa Gilpin on September 18, 2011 at 5:35pm
My heart aches for you!  I love all the posts your corgi friends have posted!  We all are feeling the pain and shedding tears for we understand the depth of your love and your heart break!  You and Kinsey shared a great life and she will always live in your heart and in your memories!!!!
Comment by Sandy Stickney on September 18, 2011 at 11:04am

Hi Janice,

 

I am so sorry for your loss.  I don't know that time really does heal all wounds, but I think in time, you find a way to cope with it.  I have not been in your situation, but can only imagine the depth of the pain you feel in your heart.  I send to you heartfelt thoughts and prayers.

Comment by Nicola Porter on September 18, 2011 at 9:31am
A Parting Prayer

Dear Lord, please open your gates
and call St. Francis
to come escort this beloved companion
across the Rainbow Bridge.

Assign her to a place of honor,
for she has been a faithful servant
and has always done her best to please me.

Bless the hands that send her to you,
for they are doing so in love and compassion,
freeing her from pain and suffering.

Grant me the strength not to dwell on my loss.
Help me remember the details of her life
with the love she has shown me.
And grant me the courage to honor her
by sharing those memories with others.

Let her remember me as well
and let her know that I will always love her.
And when it's my time to pass over into your paradise,
please allow her to accompany those
who will bring me home.

Thank you, Lord,
for the gift of her companionship
and for the time we've had together.

And thank you, Lord,
for granting me the strength
to give her to you now.

Amen.

- © Brandy Duckworth, 1998
Comment by Cindi & Twinkie on September 18, 2011 at 9:16am
Oh Janice, I am so sorry to hear that you lost your sweet Kinsey.  My husband and I went through the same thing a number of years ago with our Cocker, Zero.  Kidney disease is so terrible.  Its almost over before you know what is going on.  We were so sad but knew that we had given him a charmed life and even when he was sick we tried to think more of him than for ourselves.  We even had to move up his last day because he had gone blind literally overnight and was scared.   He was our first dog as a couple and we considered him our child.  I know how hurt you feel now but you will find a way to love again.  I will be thinking of you, even more because I am a Kansasan too...OOXX
Comment by Donna and Lilly on September 18, 2011 at 8:05am
Lilly and I send corgi hugs and prayers your way.  We are so sorry for your loss.
Comment by Geri & Sidney on September 18, 2011 at 3:21am

My friend is going through the exact same thing right now with her beagle Sara. I made a post in the discussion forums asking for prayers and advice for her. She's been in the emergency hospital all week getting fluids, but her numbers continue to climb. My friend is so afraid of losing her girl; she brought her home today and needs to give her subcutaneous fluids twice a day. Now it's a waiting game. They were doing tests for leptospirosis, but I don't know the results...I'll have to ask.

 

I am so sorry to read the sad news about Kinsey. My boy Bruce is in controlled renal failure, a scary place to be.

Comment by Melissa and Franklin! on September 18, 2011 at 1:16am

As you said time really doesn't heal all wounds, you will likely always shed tears in memory of Kinsey. But as time goes by you will also be able to remember the happy times and it won't be as painful. I lost my special boy almost 3 years ago. He was 11 years old and after a long fight with various health issues we finally had him feeling good and acting almost like a puppy again. Then New Years Eve 2009 he got scared by some fireworks and fell on our hardwood floor and injured his spine. After several vet visits and consults over the course of a week we came to the decision that he wasn't going to get better and we decided the best thing we could do for him at that point was to let him go. Even though I have my little Franklin now, and love him with all my heart, I still have nights when I remember my boy Raulie and cry. But over time those nights are getting farther and farther apart and I can think about the good times and talk about him without crying. Working in vet medicine I have come to learn that often the best way to help your heart heal is to bring a new fur baby into your life. Not as a replacement, but as a friend to help you heal. Just know you did everything you could for Kinsey and she was lucky to have such a loving mom.

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