From the New Yorker



ROYAL WEDDING DAY SCHEDULE FOR HER MAJESTY QUEEN ELIZABETH

by Paul Rudnick

MARCH 14, 2005





7:00 A.M. Arise and greet corgis. Tell them it’s a very special day: they’ll be trying new Iams Lamb & Wild Rice in Gravy.

7:30 A.M. Breakfast with Prince Philip. Remind him that, even if they offer him a Jaguar, Al Qaeda are not friends.

8:00 A.M. Pick Corgi of the Day. Comfort and encourage remaining corgis.

8:30 A.M. Phone… Continue