Saying Good-bye to Rudy
Hi everyone. I have some sad news to share. We had to have Rudy euthanized.
Lately, he's taken to attacking us (me in particular) and the other dogs. We knew when we took him into our home that he had some very real problems with aggression. And we had high, high hopes we could help him to find a more peaceful life. But...
In the past two weeks, he's been viciously aggressive. He's bitten me twice before. But on Thursday, some switch went off in his brain. I really don't know what triggered it. We can speculate til we're blue, but truthfully we'll never know. However, this time I simply moved my chair in the office and he lunged at me, tearing my shirt from the underarm. Thankfully, he did not get ahold of me there. But as the shirt tore, he grabbed my left hand and arm, slicing through my middle finger. I didn't fight him, knowing that trying to free my hand would make the damage worse. He snarled and growled and attacked over and over. I just prayed it would end. Once he slid off my hand, he went after my stomach, landing a puncture wound on my hip. Then he lunged at my legs, tearing a good slice of my left thigh. I just couldn't back him off. He was lunging and moving toward me trying to back me against the wall of the office. I hate to admit to fighting my way out, but that is what I had to do. I finally got away, but not until great injury was done...me to my body and him to his soul. And after tasting that amount of blood, he wasn't ending his stalking.
I called Patti (CorgiMom) at work and told her to come home. She arrived 30 minutes later to find me dazed and bleeding. My doctor saw me shortly afterward. He was required, because of the severity of the attack, to provide a dog-bite report to the Board of Health. And, as our law is very specific about what happens to a bite dog, we had the choice of quarantine or euthanasia. Rudy never could have handled quarantine and would have come away a much more aggressive dog. We had to make the difficult choice to put him down. The hardest part is knowing that immediately upon death, they hacksaw his head off for post-mortem. And our usually sympathetic vet seemed very UNsympathetic, ordering us out of the exam room and taking him to the back for euthanasia and "the procedure." I so much wanted to hug him...just once. He was never approachable. I never felt the joy of his fur against my face. And both of us wanted that before he was taken away, but we were robbed of it. It made the loss that much more horrific.
I cannot begin to tell you how devastated we both are. We went into this rescue with the very best of intentions. Goddess knows we tried everything we could. He was a beautiful dog. And he could have had a beautiful heart. But someone somewhere beat the living daylights out of this animal. Someone somewhere should be ashamed at what they did. You could tell Rudy wanted to be happy and wanted to not be angry and fearful. But he just couldn't get beyond what had been done to him.
Now his restless soul is at peace, dancing and laughing on the other side of the Bridge. He is enjoying freedom of spirit for the first time since he was a little bitty pup. We are trying to comfort ourselves and the rest of our pack with that thought, but are often coming up empty and in deep, heartfelt pain. Our anger at his previous owners is tempered by our tears and our hope that now he is at peace.
I pray he's playing fetch with Goddess and making the angels and fairies laugh with delight. He loved a good game of fetch the ball. Sometimes I think it was his only time of real joy. He deserves every special pet on the head he gets now. And I hope when he re-enters this life, we are blessed with the opportunity to again have his spirit in our home.
We ask your prayers as we deal with this loss, for it is very, very great and we are broken hearted.
Cindi & Patti
Lately, he's taken to attacking us (me in particular) and the other dogs. We knew when we took him into our home that he had some very real problems with aggression. And we had high, high hopes we could help him to find a more peaceful life. But...
In the past two weeks, he's been viciously aggressive. He's bitten me twice before. But on Thursday, some switch went off in his brain. I really don't know what triggered it. We can speculate til we're blue, but truthfully we'll never know. However, this time I simply moved my chair in the office and he lunged at me, tearing my shirt from the underarm. Thankfully, he did not get ahold of me there. But as the shirt tore, he grabbed my left hand and arm, slicing through my middle finger. I didn't fight him, knowing that trying to free my hand would make the damage worse. He snarled and growled and attacked over and over. I just prayed it would end. Once he slid off my hand, he went after my stomach, landing a puncture wound on my hip. Then he lunged at my legs, tearing a good slice of my left thigh. I just couldn't back him off. He was lunging and moving toward me trying to back me against the wall of the office. I hate to admit to fighting my way out, but that is what I had to do. I finally got away, but not until great injury was done...me to my body and him to his soul. And after tasting that amount of blood, he wasn't ending his stalking.
I called Patti (CorgiMom) at work and told her to come home. She arrived 30 minutes later to find me dazed and bleeding. My doctor saw me shortly afterward. He was required, because of the severity of the attack, to provide a dog-bite report to the Board of Health. And, as our law is very specific about what happens to a bite dog, we had the choice of quarantine or euthanasia. Rudy never could have handled quarantine and would have come away a much more aggressive dog. We had to make the difficult choice to put him down. The hardest part is knowing that immediately upon death, they hacksaw his head off for post-mortem. And our usually sympathetic vet seemed very UNsympathetic, ordering us out of the exam room and taking him to the back for euthanasia and "the procedure." I so much wanted to hug him...just once. He was never approachable. I never felt the joy of his fur against my face. And both of us wanted that before he was taken away, but we were robbed of it. It made the loss that much more horrific.
I cannot begin to tell you how devastated we both are. We went into this rescue with the very best of intentions. Goddess knows we tried everything we could. He was a beautiful dog. And he could have had a beautiful heart. But someone somewhere beat the living daylights out of this animal. Someone somewhere should be ashamed at what they did. You could tell Rudy wanted to be happy and wanted to not be angry and fearful. But he just couldn't get beyond what had been done to him.
Now his restless soul is at peace, dancing and laughing on the other side of the Bridge. He is enjoying freedom of spirit for the first time since he was a little bitty pup. We are trying to comfort ourselves and the rest of our pack with that thought, but are often coming up empty and in deep, heartfelt pain. Our anger at his previous owners is tempered by our tears and our hope that now he is at peace.
I pray he's playing fetch with Goddess and making the angels and fairies laugh with delight. He loved a good game of fetch the ball. Sometimes I think it was his only time of real joy. He deserves every special pet on the head he gets now. And I hope when he re-enters this life, we are blessed with the opportunity to again have his spirit in our home.
We ask your prayers as we deal with this loss, for it is very, very great and we are broken hearted.
Cindi & Patti
Comment
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Comment by disraeli ears on November 30, 2008 at 7:40pm
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Thank you for sharing this link with me. You can completely understand my feelings - it is so hard to have something that you share a loving bond with turn on you. And you know they don't want to do it. Rhys would always come over to me after he bit me, trying to make amends in his doggy way. He couldn't help the way his brain worked - he was a good boy.
Hugs to you.
Tana & Andy
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Comment by Cindi on November 2, 2008 at 11:59pm
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Thank you, Jane. It's hard not to wonder, as a trainer, what else I could have done to help him. If I did believe in hell, there would be a special place for folks like those who hurt Rudy. We truly appreciate your thoughts and prayers. It's never easy.
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Comment by Jane Lamb on November 2, 2008 at 12:16am
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I have not been on my page for awhile so I just read about Rudy. I am so sorry that this has happened. I am sure you tried your best to help this lovely dog. Try not to beat yourself up over it. I know from experience that you cannot save them all. Some are just way too damaged. Some horrible owner had put this poor dog through he**. Some dogs just can't get past what has happened to them no matter how much you try to love them. Ruby is in a much happier place. He will be waiting for you when you cross the bridge and he will be happy to see you and you will be able to hug him. I know this does not help much with you grief but you are both in my thoughts and prayers.
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Thanks so much for your kindness. We still ache for Rudy everyday.
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Comment by Sylvia on October 29, 2008 at 9:30pm
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I am so sorry what happened with you and with Rudy :( It's really sad that someone in his past put so much hurt and fear into his heart. I am SURE That the time he had with you he will treasure forever *sends hugs and prayers for you both.* And I hope that unsympathetic vet gets a dose of his own due when the time comes... No one should be so un-undertanding in such a hard situation as that. :(
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Comment by penny spencer on September 27, 2008 at 9:57pm
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Cindi. I just saw your site and want to let you know how badly I feel for you and your Rudy. You have a good kind soul to have tried to help him.
Surely, he felt your love, but because of a cruel past, didn't know how to accept kindness and love, poor guy. Was he a corgi? My little guy has some real health issues and can show aggression to some degree. I'm afraid of what might occur in his future. I'd love to hear from you. Take care.
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Ginny, Sam T, Geri & Sidney...thank you for your kind thoughts and prayers. It's been tough. Everyone has been so kind and compassionate. Thank you.
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Comment by Geri & Sidney on August 16, 2008 at 10:24pm
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Oh Cindi, I am so sorry. That must have been terrifying, and I can only imagine that heartbreaking decision. I am so proud of your strength. Heal quickly.
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Comment by Sam Tsang on August 16, 2008 at 10:45am
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Our thoughts are with you and the family.
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Comment by Ginny and Diggory on August 16, 2008 at 9:45am
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Bless you both. As much as you must be injured physically, I am sure that is nothing compared to the emotional pain you must be feeling. It really angers me too that he was treated in such a way that robbed him of the life he could have led... a life filled with closeness and love, like what you tried to provide but he just couldn't understand.
Ginny and I send you our love.
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