How do you get thru your Corgi dying suddenly?

Gracie and I were living in Seattle and I decided we should move back to Arizona because neither of us enjoyed riding an elevator and walking in the rain.    I found us a nice condo in Scottsdale and amazingly, my boss said I could work remotely in Arizona.  It was going to be perfect.  I’d get to spend all day with Gracie,  my best friend.  The condo is right next to the greenbelt, where I pictured some lovely walks with my girl.  I packed boxes and boxes and finally the day came for the movers to take it away and for us to get in the car and drive to our new home.  It took 3 days because driving alone is tiring and my friend needed to stretch her legs every couple of hours.  We finally arrived and she romped around in her new home, shaking her squeaky toy for me to chase her.  She liked her new home!!  We went for dinner at some friends that night and we were all so happy I'd moved back.  Next day I ran some errands and that night Gracie threw up her dinner.  I put it down to travel stress . Next day she ate her breakfast so I thought all was well.  Movers came with all of our boxes and I was busy organizing and unpacking.  Gracie didn’t want to go for a walk and she didn’t want her supper.  Again, I thought it was all the activity of the day and new surroundings and maybe she was still tired from the road trip.  I cuddled her on the couch and tried to make her feel relaxed.  At bedtime, she went off to the second bedroom but I brought her into my bedroom and settled her in her bed.  Just before midnight, I woke to her struggling to breathe.  I called an emergency vet and they said to bring her right in.  She couldn't move and looked so scared and I had to pick her up and carry her to the car and lift her in.   I got to the vet and they helped carry her in.  Then the news I couldn’t believe, her chest cavity was full of blood and squeezing her heart and more blood in her stomach and spots on her spleen and it all indicated cancer and a tumor that had likely ruptured.  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  She had gone into cardiac arrest and they had brought her back.  My baby was so sick and I had no idea and I had to decide whether they should try to keep her alive until a surgeon in the morning could try to save her.  She went into cardiac arrest again and they brought her back again.  I watched my baby in such a terrible state and I asked the vet what he would do if she were his dog.  He said she was suffering and heroic surgery likely wouldn’t save her.  I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to my sweetheart but I didn’t want her to be in pain or scared.  I loved her so much.  My best friend came out in the middle of the night to be with me and say goodbye to my darling.  I’m having trouble getting thru this terrible loss.  She never even got to see the beautiful green space we were going to walk on.  She was only 10 years, 8 months.  I just wasn’t prepared to lose my dog 3 days after we started our wonderful new life.  It’s just so hard.  We went everywhere together.

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Comment by Carolyn and Gracie on March 19, 2018 at 11:49pm

Thank you Alison.  It’s a huge hole.  I think I’m ok and the crying starts again. :(

Comment by Alison Prasavath on March 19, 2018 at 11:30pm

I don't have any words of wisdom,  but wanted you to know I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain and hole in your heart.  I'm sorry for your sudden loss of Gracie. 

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