Lonely Work

I've been working outside the past several days. The weather has been beautiful, though a bit warm for Illinois in March. I've had plenty of weeding and cleanup in all the flower beds. I'm not done by any means, but I have a great start for this early in the spring. The down-side has been the loneliness. This is the first spring in the eight years we have lived here that Stinky WInk hasn't been out there helping me. Every time I come around the house, I look for him to be lying in one of his favorite spots. But then my eyes are drawn to the mound of his grave and the vase of daffodils I put there Monday. Hopefully I will get it completed soon, when the settling has finished, and then it will look glorious, surrounded by all those irises. I miss you so much, Winker, but I'm okay. You had a good full life until the end and, even then you and I both did all we could, but we both knew it was better to let your suffering be over. You had to tell me that was best...and what you wanted. I love you, my besses puppo.

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Comment by John Wolff on March 22, 2012 at 2:10am: Randy:

http://www.cathymarcy.com/store/index.php?page=shop.product_details...

It's track #6, "Time to Learn". A lovely grieving song.

Kathy Fink is one of the best clawhammer banjo players I've ever heard. I used to try tp ply the bano, before the Internaional War Crimes Tribunal started getting serious about prosecuting crimes against humantiy.

Tom Paxton's "Ramblin' Boy" is another good one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yNfnqueYQY

My favorite is by The Country Gentlemen:

http://www.discogs.com/Country-Gentlemen-New-Look-New-Sound/release...

And there's "Little Stream of Whiskey" (I'm trying to adapt that to a dog's tastes), "Big Rock Candy Mountain" and "Fiddler's Green".

Comment by Brenda and Gary on March 21, 2012 at 11:25pm: As I read this the tears are flowing and I can feel your pain. Hang in there Randy, I know Winker is missed, but he is in a better place. It will get easier, but give it time. When I read this post I started think about Tiki, that we lost to cancer 3 years ago and realize how much I still miss him, too. Just remember...baby Huey will be home soon!

Comment by Carolyn and Gracie on March 21, 2012 at 10:33pm: Aw, I feel for you. It must be so difficult not to have your short shadow following you around. Gracie doesn't miss a moment of outdoor time with me, trying to bite the broom when I'm sweeping, eating weeds when I tell her not too and always running full steam barking her head off at me when I close the garden gate. They are adorable, comical, mysterious, intuitive, charming little dogs...how could you not miss your Stinky Wink?

Comment by Jennifer Markley on March 21, 2012 at 6:37pm: I've been wondering how you were! I know how the spells of loneliness seem to hit....but glad that you are coming to terms with Wink's passing...I can't wait to see pictures of your new life coming!

Comment by Bev Levy on March 21, 2012 at 6:35pm: Mine like to help me garden also. Sparty loves lifting his leg and peeing in the flower beds and Izzy has never found a soft spot she doesn't want to lay down in. Your wonderful memories of Stinky will sustain until the new puppy comes and you will have a Buddy all over again to remind you of your happy days with Stinky Wink!

Comment by N a t h a n & L u f f y on March 21, 2012 at 6:16pm: Dang it, who's cutting onions again?

Comment by Teresa Gilpin on March 21, 2012 at 4:49pm: I am sure so much must remind you of Stinky Wink. But with the new flowers will remind you of a life well lived and well loved!

Comment by Alison Prasavath on March 21, 2012 at 3:15pm: Hang in there. I can tell from your posts that you are doing better. Pretty soon you'll have a new little one running around, right? Hopefully he/she will also help you garden. Noodles always enjoys breaking down the sticks for me while I'm gardening. He doesn't eat any, he just likes to turn them in to smaller pieces.