So Ruby Doo and I are driving to the vet, there to get her conjunctivitis checked. Actually, I'm driving. She's riding in her crate, which is supposed to protect her in the event of a highway mishap. The crate is tied down with the only credible tool I have to use as a tie-down: to wit, clothesline rope.

Not far into this journey, one of my Fellow Homicidal Drivers (you have to live in Arizona to appreciate this nomenclature) tries to kill us. In maneuvering out of reach, I jerk around a bit.

We escape a collision. But Ruby's crate breaks loose and freaking FLIPS OVER!

She does not scream, she does not squeal, she does not even yelp. I utter some choice sounds, but they are not for print. We make our way onto a neighborhood street, where I park with the emergency flashers flickering and run to the back of the van. Free Ruby from her prison and carry her away from the vehicle. She's shaking but seems not to be injured. Good thing we're on the way to the vet, eh?

During the rest of the trip, my mind wanders to the contraption I had (briefly) for securing Anna the GerShep in the car, supposedly safely: a doggy seatbelt.

This, it developed, was a sturdy harness that threaded through the car seatbelt, which you were supposed to use to secure the dog into an automobile seat. It never worked well, for two reasons:

1. It was a horror show to get onto the dog. Very, very difficult, and the dog hated it.
2. The Dog Chariot had six captain's chairs. A 90-pound dog does not fit well onto a captain's chair.

It might have worked better had the car been equipped with bench seats. But it was not. So I would drive Anna around loose in the car, praying for luck every inch of the way. Fortunately, the gods smiled upon us.

I still have the Dog Chariot, an ancient Toyota Sienna rounding on 15 years of age and still running like new. I've taken all but one of the back seats out, since I never use it to drive friends around. It is, indeed, a dog chariot and cargo van. The seats attach to these sturdy metal loops built into the car's body. They are freaking unbreakable.

Hmm... Harness. Belt. Unbreakable metal loops... Could I make my own dog seatbelt, and could it improve on the commercial variety?

Dropped by the Petco and picked up a nylon harness, a very simple version that tells you: left foot HERE; right foot HERE; connect THIS. Adjustable. Fits perfectly. Then found an adjustable-length leash, wide nylon, very sturdy.

So the invention goes like this:

Place harness on dog. Attach short leash to the unbreakable metal loops by looping it through the handle. Snap leash to dog harness. Drive away.

Will this protect the dog in a crash? No better than a crate. Given a few G-forces (which are considerable at 30 mph and grow exponentially for each new mph), a dog will slam around inside a crate. Enough G-force and the crate will break loose from whatever is holding it down and fly around the car.

I believe this thing will keep the dog from flying into the front seat and slamming into the human or crashing through the windshield. A serious wreck will inflict serious injuries, but then a dog in a crate will be seriously injured, too. In a minor wreck, the dog will probably survive and may be OK. In either event -- this is huge -- the panicked dog will not be able to run off into the hinterlands the instant the door is opened.

The next car will probably be a Toyota Venza. These things do have bench seats, and better yet, they have side airbags, something barely imagined back in 2000, when the Dog Chariot came into being. It should be fairly easy to attach the shortened leashes to the Venza's seatbelts, which will place the dogs right about where a side airbag will engage them.

Vet thinks Ruby's conjunctivitis in allergic. Produced meds. To call this evening about the un-housetraining issue. Thus, possibly more to come...