How do you get thru your Corgi dying suddenly?

Gracie and I were living in Seattle and I decided we should move back to Arizona because neither of us enjoyed riding an elevator and walking in the rain.    I found us a nice condo in Scottsdale and amazingly, my boss said I could work remotely in Arizona.  It was going to be perfect.  I’d get to spend all day with Gracie,  my best friend.  The condo is right next to the greenbelt, where I pictured some lovely walks with my girl.  I packed boxes and boxes and finally the day came for the movers to take it away and for us to get in the car and drive to our new home.  It took 3 days because driving alone is tiring and my friend needed to stretch her legs every couple of hours.  We finally arrived and she romped around in her new home, shaking her squeaky toy for me to chase her.  She liked her new home!!  We went for dinner at some friends that night and we were all so happy I'd moved back.  Next day I ran some errands and that night Gracie threw up her dinner.  I put it down to travel stress . Next day she ate her breakfast so I thought all was well.  Movers came with all of our boxes and I was busy organizing and unpacking.  Gracie didn’t want to go for a walk and she didn’t want her supper.  Again, I thought it was all the activity of the day and new surroundings and maybe she was still tired from the road trip.  I cuddled her on the couch and tried to make her feel relaxed.  At bedtime, she went off to the second bedroom but I brought her into my bedroom and settled her in her bed.  Just before midnight, I woke to her struggling to breathe.  I called an emergency vet and they said to bring her right in.  She couldn't move and looked so scared and I had to pick her up and carry her to the car and lift her in.   I got to the vet and they helped carry her in.  Then the news I couldn’t believe, her chest cavity was full of blood and squeezing her heart and more blood in her stomach and spots on her spleen and it all indicated cancer and a tumor that had likely ruptured.  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.  She had gone into cardiac arrest and they had brought her back.  My baby was so sick and I had no idea and I had to decide whether they should try to keep her alive until a surgeon in the morning could try to save her.  She went into cardiac arrest again and they brought her back again.  I watched my baby in such a terrible state and I asked the vet what he would do if she were his dog.  He said she was suffering and heroic surgery likely wouldn’t save her.  I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to my sweetheart but I didn’t want her to be in pain or scared.  I loved her so much.  My best friend came out in the middle of the night to be with me and say goodbye to my darling.  I’m having trouble getting thru this terrible loss.  She never even got to see the beautiful green space we were going to walk on.  She was only 10 years, 8 months.  I just wasn’t prepared to lose my dog 3 days after we started our wonderful new life.  It’s just so hard.  We went everywhere together.

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Comment by Frances P Moloney on April 20, 2018 at 6:30pm

Dear Carolyn,

Your Gracie had brought you as far on your life journey as she could: her job was done.

Remember with fondness all the good times you shared and how she was there for you during the bad times.

Be glad her discomfort at the end was not prolonged.

Of course you are sad. But she brought you to a new life; grasp it with both hands.

Comment by Beth on April 19, 2018 at 8:00pm

I am so sorry and the timing was awful.  It's never good but when you are expecting a beginning and instead get an ending, well....   This made me cry.   I know it's been a while now (I don't log in often these days so just seeing this now) but it's so hard to lose them and especially like this.

Big hugs and Corgi kisses.   Which reminds me I should update my profile pic because our Maddie girl is gone nearly two years now.  How can that be?

Comment by Carolyn and Gracie on April 19, 2018 at 5:58pm

Anna, thank you for your thoughts and sentiments.  You are lucky to have had so many special friends through the years.  Gracie was my first dog at 50.  She was my angel on earth.  There is a poem called The Rainbow Bridge  that is both sad and encouraging.  Maybe you've seen it. :) 

Comment by Carolyn and Gracie on April 19, 2018 at 5:54pm

Oh James, I'm so sorry for your loss.  I know exactly how you feel, just sick inside.  It's now been 8 weeks for me and it does get better but I miss her often throughout the day.  I had her cremated and had a beautiful stained glass box made for her ashes and it sits on my dresser.  Sometimes I talk to the box like she can hear me.  Crazy, I know, but after talking to her everyday for more than 10 years it's a hard habit to break.  My heart goes out to you... 

Comment by James Hurley on April 19, 2018 at 4:49pm

I'm so sorry to hear this.  I just posted a similar story.  I lost my Corgi 2 days ago to very similar circumstance.  We had no idea that he was sick and he suddenly declined and we had few options.  I'm completely heartbroken and in denial.  I wish you luck.  I feel this giant void and I'm sure you do, also.

Comment by Anna Morelli on April 18, 2018 at 11:19pm

Carolyn, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Dogs are pretty stoic and often one does not know anything is wrong until an illness is very advanced, with little time to prepare emotionally. In a way this is hard but, on the other hand, watching long suffering can be even harder for both  the dog and its people. I think Gracie stayed as long as she could and held on until she saw you accomplish your dream move.  I have lost many beloved dogs and always joked I was building my kennel in the sky. My joke veiled the deep seated knowing that nothing we love is ever truly lost, whether person or animal and someday we will all be reunited.  I  hope Gracie will guide you to open your heart and home to new adventures with another furry friend when the time is right.

Comment by Carolyn and Gracie on March 20, 2018 at 11:30pm

And thank you too Linda.  I’m so sorry for loss.

Comment by Carolyn and Gracie on March 20, 2018 at 11:29pm

Thank you for sharing your story Rebecca.  I can only imagine the pain you must have felt.  I’m glad you have a new best friend.  He sounds wonderful.  I’m still raw.  Everywhere I look there’s a memory even though she only lived here for 3 days.  I have a basket full of her toys, her fluffy mat and water bowl in my car (I can’t bring myself to get rid of them), all her bandanas, the raincoat she looked so adorable breaks my heart.  My cat was her buddy and would groom  Gracie’s ears and head and the cat wails now like she never did before.  Well, you know what it’s like when you really have a relationship with your dog and they listen to you know your habits better than you do.  I was 50 years old when I got my first dog and Gracie was everything I hoped for.  I’ll try not to be sad and cherish the memories instead.  

Comment by Linda on March 20, 2018 at 10:46pm

I am so sorry, my heart breaks for you.  No matter if it's sudden or you know it's coming it leaves a massive hole in your heart....I've been thru both.  I lost my beautiful Max, my heart dog, 2 years ago.  I have days when I still cry.

Comment by Rebecca Marie O'Bryan on March 20, 2018 at 8:49pm

My heart hurts for you, I am so very sorry for this sudden and tragic loss! :'( when you said "She never even got to see the beautiful green space we were going to walk on" i started crying.

When I lost Teddy 6years ago to a sudden accident (he suffocated by a bag)  i felt like i would never smile again because i blamed myself (i still do) but i worked a vet clinic so buried myself in my job and loved on the animals that would come in. About two months afterwards i started looking at breeders in my area and she had a female that was pregnant and one of puppy buyers backed out last minuet. I went for an interview and she was moved by the loss of my best friend because he really was my loyal companion and it broke my heart in a million pieces when he passed.

Thats how i got Baden my second corgi. 

He is now 6 and little buddy. This boy knows be so well that if my anxiety is really bad he wont leave my side unless its to bring every toy he has out of his toy box to calm me down. He really helped ease my broken heart. i had 10weeks to prepare for his arrival so it gave me something to look forward to and once he was at home with me things began to fall into place. There were even moments that he would be doing something and it would remind me of Teddy.

Gracie wouldnt want you to be sad, she knows you were a good mama to her. Take all the time you need to heal and remember the good times with her <3

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