I think the ability to manage grief is very much connected to our ability to place situations in perspective. Last night I finally realized clearly that letting Stinky Wink go was not what was best for me, but for him. My reluctance to let him go was because I would be lonely. I would lose my best friend. I would hurt. But love can--and must--move beyond all those me-oriented feelings.When we can realize that, then we know that we not only made the best decision, but the only decision. Love, after all, is always about the Other, and has to be. Otherwise it isn't really love--at least not self-less love.I will always love the little guy who shared our lives for almost 12 years, and mine especially for the past five years, twenty-four hours a day, day in and day out. Now I know that during those final hours as I tried to comfort him and wipe the matter out of his eyes, what I saw there in those eyes was not "Save me," but "Let me go, while I still have some dignity." When I can get completely past the total sadness of what had to be done, and focus fully on how peaceful and at-rest he looked, lying on the couch, waiting for his bed to be prepared in the iris beds, then the perspective may be complete. My precious little friend, may your beautiful Corgi body rest in peace, while your spirit romps, pain-free, at the Rainbow Bridge, waiting for a reunion that will surely come.

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Comment by Beverly Butler Redford & Tucker on February 28, 2012 at 8:26pm

My heart goes out to you.  Stinky Wink was very lucky to have such a loving person.  Many times we say, "what goes around comes around" when someone does something hurtful.  But it really happens when you love and put your heart on the line and then you get back the love you give.  You've given a lot of love and it will come back to you.

Comment by Jennifer Markley on February 25, 2012 at 9:11am

The fact that you have realized that what you did was for him, and an act out of love, means you are healing.  I hope things continue to look up for you.

Comment by Nicola Porter on February 25, 2012 at 8:59am

I am so sorry for your loss. I don't think I can do it again after letting Max go. I have two now that are going to be with me for a long time like your stinky wink.

Comment by Will Jones on February 24, 2012 at 11:11pm

RIP Stinky wink. :(

Comment by Priscilla, CARLY, and Frankie on February 24, 2012 at 10:32pm

I am so sorry for you loss , i pray your healing comes swiftly so you can remember the good times..

Comment by Kevan hudson on February 24, 2012 at 10:06pm
Hi Randy, as I have written before, reading your blogs reminds me so much of how I was feeling when my dear Chucky passed,remember stinky wink was a veery good friend ,he would not like to see you suffer so ,his job was to be your companion, your friend,he did it admirably ,perhaps you will soon begin to open your heart to another companion?best wishes.
Comment by Rebecca on February 24, 2012 at 9:38pm

Hi Randy, your deep sorrow and missing stinky winky is so sad. everytime i read what you have to say brings tears back to my eyes. i so feel for you and how much you miss your best friend. They leave such a hole in our heart. try and think of all the wonderful memories that the two of you have. Stinky wouldn't want you to be so sad,   I hope you will feel better soon,

Comment by Di, Pazu, and Mochi the Bunny on February 24, 2012 at 7:59pm

Thought of a song I wrote.. (tune to Moon River)

My corgi, sweeter than a smile

You're missed very much all day

Oh warm snuggles, you food lover

Whenever you're frapping, I've smiled your way

 

Two drifters, off to see the world

There's such a lot of world to smell

We're after the same rainbow's bridge, waiting 'round the bend

My little Stinky Wink, my corgi, and me

Comment by Teresa Gilpin on February 24, 2012 at 5:11pm

Your story makes me so sad and how much I need to appreciate my little angels right now!!!  I can't imagine life without their precious faces!  I wish there was something we could do to make it easier for you, but I guess only time will heal such a deep wound!  We are your corgi family though, and we understand your great love for Wink and also we understand your grief.

Comment by Alison Prasavath on February 24, 2012 at 3:25pm

Very good perspective and once again, you had me in tears. Reading your blogs is making me realize how special every day is with Noodles. The other day when you said you arrived home from the grocery store, it was dark and no wiggle butt to greet you, I thought how my coming homes would look. No face looking out the front window, hearing his bark as I wait for the garage door to open and his face looking out the cat door (we don't have one, but the former owners did) of the door from the house to the garage just waiting for me to open the door. (I think Noodles thinks we put that window in the door just for him.) Lonely doesn't even begin to describe it. I'm sorry for your loss, happy you are taking things one day at a time and in time, things will get a little easier, but he will forever be missed. He is waiting for you to join him...

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