My dog is really sick.

Gwynnie has a problem. I've tried to pretend that she's this healthy, happy, perfectly behaved, well-adjusted dog, but I can maintain the veil of denial no longer. I fear she has a real behavior problem, and we've been afraid to talk about it. We have this elephant in the living room -- really -- a dead elephant (see below). We have to face this.

She likes to kill things. Small helpless creatures, mostly. It's sickening. She catches them and kills them, slowly and repeatedly, and dismembers their bodies. Our home is a charnel house of severed heads and body parts gnawed clean down to the bone. They're everywhere, hidden in corners, under the furniture. Lifeless eyes stare hauntingly at us from dark spaces. Whenever I come home, she greets me by proferring some dismembered body part. My beautiful little Gwynnie... a vicious monster?!?

I don't know what to do. Can anyone advise me? Is it time to seek... professional help? I mean, I'm afraid that if somebody like me walked into a shrink's office and said, "My *dog* has a problem", their jaw would go slack before they burst out laughing. What should I do?

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Permalink Reply by Susan Stanton on November 12, 2011 at 6:58pm

I'm seeing a whole movie franchise a la Halloween or Friday the 13th starring Gwennie, the "sweet," "innocent," body-part collecting Corgi. But who, oh who, will play John? And wait, even more important, who will play Al?

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Permalink Reply by Ellen Andersen on November 12, 2011 at 8:48pm

Gwyn the Impaler? Gwynnie the Disembowler? Like some of the others, at first I though "Oh my god no!!!" but then realized it was you posting... LOLOL...very funny.

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Permalink Reply by Natalie, Lance &Tucker on November 13, 2011 at 12:17am

John got you too, he definately got me, I should have known better...lol I was afraid to open the post to read it :O Glad it wasn't what I thought. :)

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Permalink Reply by Elizabeth, Hermione and Luna on November 13, 2011 at 10:57am

The key with John is to read the tags....... : )

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Permalink Reply by Sam Tsang on November 13, 2011 at 12:13am

I see Gwynnie has a dark passenger :) I'm sure her victims have done unspeakable things and paid the ultimate price.

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Permalink Reply by Mickey on November 13, 2011 at 10:07am

I discovered a dead puppy in my living room this morning...could a cult be afoot?

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Permalink Reply by John Wolff on November 13, 2011 at 9:52pm

It's fun to play Igor and sew these things back together. Lori made 2-headed Zanies with 5 legs in several colors.

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Permalink Reply by Jamie on November 20, 2011 at 2:36pm

That's the best idea ever. I'm headed to the garage to get the bag full of severed stuffies and see what can be made from them. Stick in an extra squeaky or two!

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Permalink Reply by Jennifer Markley on November 13, 2011 at 10:20am

Got home and Jackson had ripped the head off the dinosaur. Is this why they went extinct?

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Permalink Reply by Teresa Gilpin on November 13, 2011 at 11:53am

I would be afraid to turn my back on her! And for sure don't sleep with the lights off! Can you sleep with one eye open? Today it may be the fuzzy animals but you never know when she might want to hunt bigger game!!!

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Permalink Reply by Nancy Geddes on November 13, 2011 at 7:21pm

John: Last week I saw Tasha shred a cricket in two blinks of an eye. Legs, head ... and then she puffed it across the floor. Such decisive cruelty! Nan