Dad Wants a Dog...
This is not Corgi related but I was hoping to get some input anyhow since it is about dogs.
My Dad has always had dogs. His favorite was an Australian Shepherd who he adored and took everywhere until she died of cancer when she was 6 or 7 years old. His other dog, who was very old, passed away a few months ago while he was in the hospital and I was going to his house to care for her. Now he is without a pet and looking to get a Queensland Heeler. The issue is this; he now lives alone and is currently going through chemotherapy. He's very week and barely able to take care of himself. He is also a bit of a hoarder so his home is cluttered with "stuff" making it a miserable place to live but he refuses to part with most of the things. It’s not a good living situation for him as it is.
He’s been talking about wanting to get a dog because he’s alone at his house and needs the companionship. He’s been excited about it since he started talking about it a few weeks ago which is a nice change of pace because he’s been feeling very down and defeated. I think he’s right from that aspect; a dog would be good company and lift his spirits. Dogs are great and they do help people get through bad things. The part I worry about is how well will the dog be cared for? If he gets a puppy he has to go through all the training, shots, neutering etc. It’s far too much work for him and the puppy would pay the price. He agreed he would take a one or two year old (still worried about how it would be cared for but not as much as a puppy) but he hasn’t found any adults available so he’s looking at puppies.
He’s meeting up with a breeder today who is bringing him an 8 week old female to look at. This is an awful idea. He knows it is but he’s eager to have a dog and he’s being stubborn and a bit selfish. He asked me about how often Finn has to go out when he was little so I told him about all the work of raising Finn and he said “I don’t suppose there’s anyone I could leave it with for a while” hinting that he wants me to raise it and that’s not possible.
I don’t know what to do. I want what will help my Dad but I don’t want an animal to be put in an unfit home. If he goes into the hospital again or rehab, I can’t take his dog and neither can my brothers. If anything happened the dog would have to be rehomed or returned to the breeder if he’d take it. This whole thing is a mess and I’m so torn.
My Dad has always had dogs. His favorite was an Australian Shepherd who he adored and took everywhere until she died of cancer when she was 6 or 7 years old. His other dog, who was very old, passed away a few months ago while he was in the hospital and I was going to his house to care for her. Now he is without a pet and looking to get a Queensland Heeler. The issue is this; he now lives alone and is currently going through chemotherapy. He's very week and barely able to take care of himself. He is also a bit of a hoarder so his home is cluttered with "stuff" making it a miserable place to live but he refuses to part with most of the things. It’s not a good living situation for him as it is.
He’s been talking about wanting to get a dog because he’s alone at his house and needs the companionship. He’s been excited about it since he started talking about it a few weeks ago which is a nice change of pace because he’s been feeling very down and defeated. I think he’s right from that aspect; a dog would be good company and lift his spirits. Dogs are great and they do help people get through bad things. The part I worry about is how well will the dog be cared for? If he gets a puppy he has to go through all the training, shots, neutering etc. It’s far too much work for him and the puppy would pay the price. He agreed he would take a one or two year old (still worried about how it would be cared for but not as much as a puppy) but he hasn’t found any adults available so he’s looking at puppies.
He’s meeting up with a breeder today who is bringing him an 8 week old female to look at. This is an awful idea. He knows it is but he’s eager to have a dog and he’s being stubborn and a bit selfish. He asked me about how often Finn has to go out when he was little so I told him about all the work of raising Finn and he said “I don’t suppose there’s anyone I could leave it with for a while” hinting that he wants me to raise it and that’s not possible.
I don’t know what to do. I want what will help my Dad but I don’t want an animal to be put in an unfit home. If he goes into the hospital again or rehab, I can’t take his dog and neither can my brothers. If anything happened the dog would have to be rehomed or returned to the breeder if he’d take it. This whole thing is a mess and I’m so torn.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Alice on
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I told him about the local Heeler rescue and at the time (this was two or three weeks ago) he said he didn't want to pay what they charged for an adult dog. I explained to him that those fees make up for any vaccines, neutering and other care the dog received and in the long run it is cheaper than having all of those things done yourself, plus, you are getting a trained dog rather than a nutty puppy. My only concern with the rescue was that it says on their website they do home visits and I don't think they would approve his cluttered home.
What you said about the breeding of Heelers makes sense and I think you're right. With all the the rescues I read about the main point they stress is that they need a big yard to run in and many say that they will jump a 6 ft wall!
I tried to look up service dogs and it sounds like he would probably qualify but they are insanely expensive so it looks like that's out of the question.
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Permalink Reply by Sheila Lynch on
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I don't know if something like this would work in your situation.
My daughter works for the Lutheran Church in IL and told me about the Howe Comfort Dog. The following is just a short description about how it works (copied from Facebook):
Lutheran Church Charities K9 Comfort Dogs are friends who bring a calming influence, allowing people to open up their hearts and receive help in times of need.
You might want to check with a local church and see if they know of any of these dogs.
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Permalink Reply by Michelle on
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Ya know if he wants a dog I totally understand but if you talk to him do you think you could steer in the direction of something smaller???? We went through something simlar with my dad after a lenghty illness he had to go into assisted living. He has a farm and at the time had a fair number of livestock....I digress.... and a Great Pyreneas....with behavioral issues. You have not lived until you try to rehome one of those giants with an attitude. We ended up having to leave him at the farm and go back and forth to feed him. This went on for about 3 months until we could get resolution. Breed choice can be very important!
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I think breed choice is important as well. I don't know why he is so set on a Heeler. I know he doesn't want a little lap dog but he may take a mix, I don't know. I think he's just always wanted one and not knowing what his future may hold, he doesn't want to wait to get one, he wants it now. I understand where he's coming from but at the same time, he needs to take the animal into consideration not to mention his own safety.
I talked to my oldest brother at lunch today and he said when he tried to talk to our dad about not getting a dog, he got very defensive. My brother was trying to point out that if he went into the hospital or assisted living (he was in assisted living for a month after his surgery) what would become of the dog? My dad thinks one of us (myself or my brothers) would take it but we have our own dogs and aren't looking for more. My brother pointed out that if it ended up in a shelter it could be put down due to the high volume of dogs being surrendered by people losing their homes etc and my dad didn't want to discuss it anymore. As I said, stubborn. I don't want to stress him out over it but I want him to fully understand the decision he's making.
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Well, my Dad just called me to tell me we have a new family member. He got the puppy. So I guess there's no talking him into an older dog or another breed now. I knew it was a bad idea for him to see the puppy. Of course once you see and hold a puppy you're going to want it. I hope this goes well. He wants me to come see her when I get off work. He's naming her Molly or Maggie and she's a little 8 week old blue and tan Heeler. *sigh*
I hope this goes well for the both of them. The biggest thing right now will be getting her house broken and getting her the shots and such that she needs. He doesn't work so I don't know how much he can afford. I hope I'm stressing needlessly. I just know if it doesn't work I'll end up having to find a home for her and I feel bad passing dogs around like that. I told him I hope he's prepared to keep up with a puppy and he said he doesn't want to live like he's dying. He's right. I'll help him when I can but it's hard enough juggling my own life and dog plus his illness and now we have this new puppy to throw in the mix.
My Dad is 70 years old and he thinks of dogs differently than I do. He grew up with dogs running around, eating scraps and bones and seldom seeing a vet. I care for Finnigan like a child with frequent vet visits, feeding quality dog food, constant training and taking every precaution. He will love his dog without a doubt but he probably doesn't have the best knowledge of nutrition, health etc.
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I'm glad to hear that. That's the effect I'm hoping she'll have on him. I know she'll be good for him (at least until she's too big and knocks him over) and I'll do my best to make sure he gets her the things she needs. I printed out information on the breed and took it to him just to stress how active they are and how much trouble they can get into should that not be exercised and trained properly. I reminded him that leash training will be important since she will grow to be stronger than him. Hopefully he get's the idea. :)
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Permalink Reply by Jane Christensen on
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Could you also find maybe a school kid/neighbor that he could hire to walk/play with the dog everynight after school?
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Permalink Reply by Beth on
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It may all turn out ok, and it might be just the thing to keep your father from falling into depression. I certainly understand your concerns! Certainly there are many dogs living in less-than-perfect circumstances who are happy and thriving, though! So just keep an eye out and hope for the best.
I'm wishing all of you the best of luck!
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I can already tell she is lifting his spirits so that's a good thing.
I was thinking the same thing last night about dogs that do fine in not so ideal living conditions. It's hard to see a dog get less but most do fine despite that. So she won't get the best food in the world, many dogs don't. I know he'll keep her happy and that's the important part.
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Permalink Reply by Judi, Dawn, Soffie & Griffyn on
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Alice, maybe now you and your brother (s) should concentrate your efforts on making a good environment for this puppy. I would start with a crate, actually maybe two. One sized to fit the puppy and one to fit when it gets older. Is your dad's yard fenced in?? That would probably help too. And then whatever else he needs to make the enviroment puppy friendly.
I chuckle a little to myself when you say your dad is 70..... as I myself get closer to 70 than I am to 40 I now realize that that's not that old. And even though your dad maybe physically frail from all his health issues.... inside he's still 12!! I hope the puppy is just what he needs!! God Bless him and you guys too for helping him through all that you have!
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I talked to him about crates but he won't be crate training. Not only are crates expensive and he doesn't even have room for one in his house, but he has never crated a dog in his life and doesn't wish to start now. If he has to leave her at home he plans on blocking her in the kitchen.
Yes, his yard is fenced but it's an old wooden fence that is fine now but when she gets bigger may be too week.
Ha ha, I didn't mean for his age to explain his physical state as much as to explain that when he was young dogs were not treated like people as they are now. They loved there dogs but provided for them differently and even though much has changed, he hasn't taken the time to learn everything such as nutrition and will likely raise her the same as they raised their dogs back when he was a boy. He's always been very old fashioned and still even believes then women who drive red cars are loose. LOL. My Dad has always said that he still feels like he's a young guy and is surprised when he looks in the mirror to see that he's not. Up until now he's been in great shape and could have easily kept up with this dog but his illness has taken so much out of him mentally and physically and for the first time, he looks like an old man. Hopefully little Molly will help put the bounce back in his step. I will of course help when I can and after talking to my brother, he's on board too. I tell you, being the mediator in this family is a full time job. :)
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Yup.... both my parents have passed, but I have an older sister who is definitely set in her ways. I can't imagine I'd ever get her to change her ideas about raising a dog, anymore than I guess she could change mine! Sounds like Molly's going to be raised "old school" but hey.... all my family dogs managed ok being raised that way, just like I never wore a helmet when riding my bike!!! BTW.... I'm the middle child of my mothers 5 girls, and a Libra to boot!! Holy smoke.... I can tell you some tales about being the mediator!! Tee hee!!
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