A RESCUERS ANSWERING MACHINE
All the listings about "free" dogs reminded me about this post from Best of Craigslist. It would be funny if it wasn't so sad.
Hello: You have reached ___-____, Tender Hearts Rescue. Due to the
high volume of calls we have been receiving, please listen closely to
the following options and choose the one that best describes you or
your situation:
>
Press 1 if you have a 10-year-old dog and your 15-year-old son has
suddenly become allergic and you need to find the dog a new home
right away.
>
Press 2 if you are moving today and need to immediately place your
150 pound, 8-year-old dog.
>
Press 3 if you have three dogs, had a baby and want to get rid of
your dogs because you are the only person in the world to have a
baby and dogs at the same time.
>
Press 4 if you just got a brand new puppy and your old dog is having
problems adjusting so you want to get rid of the old one right away.
>
Press 5 if your little puppy has grown up and is no longer small and
cute and you want to trade it in for a new model.
Press 6 if you want an unpaid volunteer to come to your home TODAY
and pick up the dog you no longer want.
>
Press 7 if you have been feeding and caring for a "stray" for the
last three years, are moving and suddenly determine it's not your
dog.
>
Press 8 if your dog is sick and needs a vet but you need the money
for your vacation.
>
Press 9 if you are elderly and want to adopt a cute puppy who is not
active and is going to outlive you.
>
Press 10 if your relative has died and you don't want to care for
their elderly dog because it doesn't fit your lifestyle.
>
Press 14 if you are calling at 6 a.m. to make sure you wake me up
before I have to go to work so you can drop a dog off on your way
to work.
>
Press 15 to leave us an anonymous garbled message, letting us know
you have left a dog in our yard in the middle of January, which is
in fact, better than just leaving the dog with no message.
>
Press 16 if you are going to get angry because we are not going to
take your dog that you have had for fifteen years, because it is
not our responsibility.
>
Press 17 if you are going to threaten to take your ten year old dog
to be euthanized because I won't take it.
>
Press 18 if you're going to get angry because the volunteers had the
audacity to go on vacation and leave the dogs in care of a trusted
volunteer who is not authorized to take your personal pet.
>
Press 19 if you want one of our PERFECTLY trained, housebroken, kid
and cat friendly purebred dogs that we have an abundance of.
>
Press 20 if you want us to take your dog that has a slight
aggression problem, i.e. has only bitten a few people and killed your
neighbor's cats.
>
Press 21 if you have already called once and been told we don't take
personal surrenders but thought you would get a different person this
time with a different answer.
>
Press 22 if you want us to use space that would go to a stray to
board your personal dog while you are on vacation, free of charge,
of course.
>
Press 23 if it is Christmas Eve or Easter morning and you want me to
deliver an eight week old puppy to your house by 6:30 am before
your kids wake up.
>
Press 24 if you have bought your children a duckling, chick or baby
bunny for Easter and it is now Christmas and no longer cute.
>
Press 25 if you want us to take your female dog who has already had
ten litters, but we can't spay her because she is pregnant again and
it is against your religion.
>
Press 26 if you're lying to make one of our younger volunteers feel
bad and take your personal pet off your hands.
>
Press 27 if your cat is biting and not using the litter box because
it is declawed, but you are not willing to accept the responsibility
that the cat's behavior is altered because of your nice furniture.
>
Press 28 if your two year old male dog is marking all over your house
but you just haven't gotten around to having him neutered.
>
Press 29 if you previously had an outdoor only dog and are calling
because she is suddenly pregnant.
>
Press 30 if you have done "everything" to housebreak your dog and
have had no success but you don't want to crate the dog because it
is cruel.
>
Press 31 if you didn't listen to the message asking for an evening
phone number and you left your work number when all volunteers are
also working and you are angry because no one called you back.
>
Press 32 if you need a puppy immediately and cannot wait because
today is your daughter's birthday and you forgot when she was born.
>
Press 33 if your dog's coat doesn't match your new furniture and you
need a different color or breed.
>
Press 34 if your new love doesn't like your dog and you are too
stupid to get rid of the new friend (who will dump you in the next
month anyway) instead of the dog.
>
Press 35 if you went through all these 'options' and didn't hear
enough. This press will connect you to the sounds of tears being
shed by one of our volunteers who is holding a discarded old dog
while the vet mercifully frees him from the grief of missing his
family.
Hello: You have reached ___-____, Tender Hearts Rescue. Due to the
high volume of calls we have been receiving, please listen closely to
the following options and choose the one that best describes you or
your situation:
>
Press 1 if you have a 10-year-old dog and your 15-year-old son has
suddenly become allergic and you need to find the dog a new home
right away.
>
Press 2 if you are moving today and need to immediately place your
150 pound, 8-year-old dog.
>
Press 3 if you have three dogs, had a baby and want to get rid of
your dogs because you are the only person in the world to have a
baby and dogs at the same time.
>
Press 4 if you just got a brand new puppy and your old dog is having
problems adjusting so you want to get rid of the old one right away.
>
Press 5 if your little puppy has grown up and is no longer small and
cute and you want to trade it in for a new model.
Press 6 if you want an unpaid volunteer to come to your home TODAY
and pick up the dog you no longer want.
>
Press 7 if you have been feeding and caring for a "stray" for the
last three years, are moving and suddenly determine it's not your
dog.
>
Press 8 if your dog is sick and needs a vet but you need the money
for your vacation.
>
Press 9 if you are elderly and want to adopt a cute puppy who is not
active and is going to outlive you.
>
Press 10 if your relative has died and you don't want to care for
their elderly dog because it doesn't fit your lifestyle.
>
Press 14 if you are calling at 6 a.m. to make sure you wake me up
before I have to go to work so you can drop a dog off on your way
to work.
>
Press 15 to leave us an anonymous garbled message, letting us know
you have left a dog in our yard in the middle of January, which is
in fact, better than just leaving the dog with no message.
>
Press 16 if you are going to get angry because we are not going to
take your dog that you have had for fifteen years, because it is
not our responsibility.
>
Press 17 if you are going to threaten to take your ten year old dog
to be euthanized because I won't take it.
>
Press 18 if you're going to get angry because the volunteers had the
audacity to go on vacation and leave the dogs in care of a trusted
volunteer who is not authorized to take your personal pet.
>
Press 19 if you want one of our PERFECTLY trained, housebroken, kid
and cat friendly purebred dogs that we have an abundance of.
>
Press 20 if you want us to take your dog that has a slight
aggression problem, i.e. has only bitten a few people and killed your
neighbor's cats.
>
Press 21 if you have already called once and been told we don't take
personal surrenders but thought you would get a different person this
time with a different answer.
>
Press 22 if you want us to use space that would go to a stray to
board your personal dog while you are on vacation, free of charge,
of course.
>
Press 23 if it is Christmas Eve or Easter morning and you want me to
deliver an eight week old puppy to your house by 6:30 am before
your kids wake up.
>
Press 24 if you have bought your children a duckling, chick or baby
bunny for Easter and it is now Christmas and no longer cute.
>
Press 25 if you want us to take your female dog who has already had
ten litters, but we can't spay her because she is pregnant again and
it is against your religion.
>
Press 26 if you're lying to make one of our younger volunteers feel
bad and take your personal pet off your hands.
>
Press 27 if your cat is biting and not using the litter box because
it is declawed, but you are not willing to accept the responsibility
that the cat's behavior is altered because of your nice furniture.
>
Press 28 if your two year old male dog is marking all over your house
but you just haven't gotten around to having him neutered.
>
Press 29 if you previously had an outdoor only dog and are calling
because she is suddenly pregnant.
>
Press 30 if you have done "everything" to housebreak your dog and
have had no success but you don't want to crate the dog because it
is cruel.
>
Press 31 if you didn't listen to the message asking for an evening
phone number and you left your work number when all volunteers are
also working and you are angry because no one called you back.
>
Press 32 if you need a puppy immediately and cannot wait because
today is your daughter's birthday and you forgot when she was born.
>
Press 33 if your dog's coat doesn't match your new furniture and you
need a different color or breed.
>
Press 34 if your new love doesn't like your dog and you are too
stupid to get rid of the new friend (who will dump you in the next
month anyway) instead of the dog.
>
Press 35 if you went through all these 'options' and didn't hear
enough. This press will connect you to the sounds of tears being
shed by one of our volunteers who is holding a discarded old dog
while the vet mercifully frees him from the grief of missing his
family.
Comment
-
Comment by Beauty and the Beast on September 28, 2009 at 3:49pm
-
People just need to realize that getting a dog is closer to adopting a child than to buying a hamster.
-
Comment by Alice on September 25, 2009 at 12:12pm
-
Linsey,
I think it's ok to buy a puppy as a gift for yourself. The issue is with parents giving pets as gifts for their kids during the holidays. I would not get a dog for someone even if I knew that they wanted a dog because if it were me, I'd want to pick out my own puppy. You'll have your dog for years so you should be sure to choose the one that fits you. In a way Finiigan was my birthday present. We had already given a deposite and we were waiting for him to be born. When my birthday came along I told everyone all I wanted was a puppy so rather than gift items, people could drop money in my puppy fund jar to help with the initial cost of a new puppy. It worked out well!
-
Comment by Kristen on September 24, 2009 at 10:18pm
-
Maria, thanks for the post. I will be passing it along. The world is full of people that see dogs as nothing more than possessions that can be discarded at will. I know when we had to go through an expensive surgery i couldn't really afford with one of our rescues I had several people say they would have had the dog euthanized before they would spend $2000 on a dog. I don't see those people the same way I did before.
-
Comment by Linsey & Grissom on September 24, 2009 at 10:04pm
-
That was a great post. It's disgusting that people think of animals as something to be discarded when they've had enough, and not the living, breathing, caring creatures they are.
In my defense, I have bought a puppy as a Christmas gift for myself. Grissom, actually. But he wasn't ready to come ome til New Years...
-
-
Those are the same people who buy pets as Christmas gifts...
-
-
That was awesome and right on the nose! I’m going to pass it on to everyone I know. This is really how people are and I can't imagine being like that. When I was younger my family had 4 dogs at one point and the oldest one was obviously becoming unhappy the older she got. She was a Cockapoo and really wanted to be the only dog who could sit on your lap all day and get tons of attention, not run with a pack of younger more self sufficient dogs. At the time we were also taking in rescues to rehabilitate and rehome and that just added to her stress so my parents made the decision to find her a more suitable home, not because we didn’t lover her, but because it wasn’t fair to her. They found a retired couple who met her and wanted her. I remember the night my dad left to take her to her new home. We all knew it was going to happen but still we were all heart broken, even my dad came back with tears in his eyes. He said he would never be able to do something like that again. It was hard for us and we knew she was getting a better home, so I can't imagine how people can abandon their pet or drop it off at a shelter with no problem and no idea what will become of that animal. Where do these heartless people come from?
-
Comment by Geri & Sidney on September 24, 2009 at 11:44am
-
Wow, that was powerful.
-
-
People should think about their dogs as kids. Would you give up your naughty kid? Would you try to rehome them if they don't get along with kids outside or at home?
Besides dogs cost a lot less and are easier to train. And you probably won't find a creature in the whole world that would love you more than your dog no matter what kind of person you are and how much money you have in the bank.
-
Comment by DR, Nala & Simon on September 24, 2009 at 10:26am
-
So true.
-
Comment by Amanda on September 24, 2009 at 10:25am
-
It was sad, but it was the very last one that really hit me. I don't know how people can do things like this to animals. When I think of how many wonderful dogs are euthanized every day just because someone doesn't want them anymore I just want to scream.
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