Hi All,
We went to the vet this morning because Mocha's lymph nodes were swollen, it happened over night, the vet took some blood, we got Mocha to stop bleeding after 6 hours, turns out his platelet count is very low. The vet is going to refer Mocha to an oncologist on Monday, in the mean time I will monitor him closely.
Two things the vet and I can't figure out:
1.We don't know why his lymph nodes got so big in the last 24 hours?
2. How did his platelet count got so low? What exactly is causing his body to attack itself?
Please keep Mocha in your prayers. I feel like I heaven't been a good dad to him due to me being away - taking care of grandpa at the hospital :(
UPDATE#2 Apr 21 - 9:41pm
After consulting with 4 different emergency vets within the Toronto area, we have a new game plan and it is a double edge sword:
We will treat Mocha with Prednisone / Doxycycline.
if Mocha reacts to this treatment positively, we may just bought some extra time for him but at the same time murky the Lymphoma diagnosis for the Oncologist.
OR
Mocha reacts to this treatment well because it was truly due to a legitimate tick borne disease / other infection.
On the other hand...
IF Mocha doesn't react to this treatment, he may not live pass this weekend. So, we've made the decision to do something rather than NOTHING at all.
Thank you for all your prayers, I really appreciate it.
UPDATE#3 Apr 22 - 7:50am
I slept for 4 hours, only to find myself in tears typing this. Mocha never left my side, this is not his style, he's always been independent and choose to sleep wherever he wants. Every breathe he takes sounds like a loud snore due to the size his lymph nodes, it's comforting to hear he's alive yet it breaks my heart to hear him breathe like this.
My wife and I cried all night, at the back of our head we already know this could be Lymphoma, all the signs are pointing in this direction, I'm selfishly hoping its just a curable tick borne disease. A million thoughts went through my head, how could this happen so fast? It was only a couple of weeks ago I took Mocha to see grandpa, everyone was praising how handsome and smart he was. Lord, how much I would give to see my boy's signature smile again? I want to see that nub wagging again. Something is terribly wrong and my head is not ready to accept this reality.
What I'm witnessing right now is only the beginning, do I have the strength to walk down this path with my friend? How do I make sure I'm not doing this for my own selfish fantasy? I just want Mocha to feel no pain. Perhaps this is what heart break really feels like? God please give me the strength and wisdom. I'm supposed to host a brunch in 4 hours, how am I supposed to do this?
UPDATE#4 Apr 23 - 7:46am
Doxy and Pred are doing their job, Mocha's lymph nodes did calm down enough for him to breathe better. However, we are not out of the woods yet. Due to his platelet count being SO LOW, he does not meet the minimum requirement for chemo in the first place. The vet and I talked yesterday, he wants Mocha confined, he doesn't want him walked / bumped / bruised / due to possible internal bleeding.
While I was entertaining guest / patting Mocha yesterday, my prayers were answered, I was able to catch a glimpse of his signature smile. It reminds me to appreciate the little things in life, treasure each moment because they are not forever.
I am at the hospital all day with Grandpa today, Mocha is at home with Vienna (my other corgi). I will talk to the vet sometime today, we'll determine what the next step is and when to take further tests because we can't do anything when Mocha can't stop bleeding.
I want to thank each one of you for writing, you have no idea how much it means to me and my wife (Silvia). We try to read them while we're on the go, sorry we may not be able to reply to all of them, but those comfort words do bring a smile to our face. Thank you once again and have a wonderful day!
UPDATE#5 Apr 23 - 6:34pm
Silvia just got off the phone conference with the vet / oncologist, cytology report came back - Mocha has Lymphoma :( Approximately 2 months to live. We will continue to limit his activity (avoid internal bleeding) and follow up with the vet tomorrow or later this week.
I overhead two chemo patients exchanging bucket lists on my lunch break today, their positive attitude and laughter changed my view. Instead of drowning in sorrow, I will focus on Mocha's living quality and creating new memories with his remaining time. "A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones" Proverbs 17:22
MyCorgi.com exist because we got Mocha back in 03, we wanted to create a friendly community for owners to help each other, Thank you for all your well wishes and private messages! I hope you will give an extra hug and kiss to your corgis today, live life and laugh :)
PS: I'm open to bucket list suggestions :)
UPDATE 6 Apr 25 5:27am
I've been up since 4am, couldn't fall back to sleep.
I took Mocha back to the Vet for a check up yesterday, he is now anemic, which means the cancer had already spread to the bone marrow (stage 5 Lymphoma). His gum is losing its colour, he is bleeding somewhere in the GI tract, black tarry stool. We are still waiting for his latest blood platelet result, it'll be in today.
From the outside Mocha is doing super, he had his signature smile when I let him sit in the front passenger seat, he loved watching the traffic, I snapped lots of pictures. He also love meeting new friends, I caught his nub wag yesterday at the vet, little gesture like that made my day.
While we were on our way to see grandpa last night, My wife and I started discussing euthanasia, its not a topic we want to talk about but a much needed one. We didn't get too far, I was trying to hold back tears while driving, my wife was balling her eyes out. It was very hard putting our game face on for grandpa.
Grandpa was super high last night (anti-psych rx), he was in an exceptionally good mood, even advised us on helping Mocha with Chinese medicine. It's been a while since we had a good laugh at the hospital, a much needed one.
After we got home, my wife suggested we take pictures in our photo studio. Mocha and Vienna were smiling the whole time. I was holding Mocha while taking pictures but I can't seem to relax and smile for them. My wife picked up on it, I'm a terrible liar.
I have no problem falling asleep, but once I wake up in the middle of the night, I can't help but recheck Mocha's respiration rate, I jumped at any sound he makes.
It's 6:10am, I need to get some sleep.
UPDATE 7 Apr 27 9:18am
Grandpa was discharged from the hospital yesterday, so I have more time to take care of Mocha now. Blood work came back, platelet count is up, red blood cell is down (boo), white blood cell is up (boo). During the day time Mocha is quite normal, at night his respiratory rate kept us up. We know if it's greater than 30 breathe per minute = clear sign of distress, but it always gets better in the morning.
My wife and I have finalized Mocha's euthanasia plan, we will have it at the vets office instead of home, we did ask the vet about donating his body for education / medical research, but apprently U of Guelph don't need any this year. Public cremation is the choice we'll make and the total cost will be $2XX CDN. I'm so glad that we were able to talk about it and made the decision together, since the plan is now in place, we can focus on the spoiling now.
12:24pm
I just took Mocha out, he made a healthy colour poop, NOT black and tarry!!! I'm sure the neighbour thinks I'm crazy, weird asian guy dancing with a bag of poop :) YES, healthy poop makes me smile.
UPDATE 8 May 4th 12:04pm
Thank you for all your prayers and messages. Mocha is doing well, his respiratory rate is still a bit faster than I like, but his spirit is good. He is comfortable enough to sleep / roll on his back, put a smile on and look forward to everything we eat. We took him and Vienna to visit grandpa last week, he was back to his charming self and made the family smile :)
Mocha is no longer on Doxy and we've also stopped using sulcrate + to line his stomach. Right now he's on Omeprazole once daily and Prednisone every 12 hours. Due to the pred's side effect, Mocha drinks and pees a lot, so I have to take him out every two hours, it reminds me of his puppy years.
We will take Mocha in for another blood work soon. wish us luck :)
UPDATE 9 May 15th 12:54pm
We just got back from the vet, he is very pleased with Mocha's progress and gave him the okay to the dog park.
Mocha is losing weight still, currently at 23lbs, we'll need to step up the spoiling and fatten him up, stat!
There must have been 50+ dogs at the park today, all the dog walkers are out. Mocha had a great time, did several chest bumps and messed with the big dogs :) (video)
The family will go camping @ Bruce Peninsula national park this weekend, it is Mocha and my favourite place.
this pic was shot 2 years ago.
Thank you for all your prayers and messages, we are doing ok, taking it one day at a time.
UPDATE 10 Jun 13th 9:52AM
The update continues on another thread... Aug 1st 5:58pm
Thank you so much for all your messages, our phones were beeping non stop from notifications. Your words brought tears to our eyes and we are filled with love.
I took Vienna to the vet yesterday, the cytology result came back today, she also has stage 5 Lymphoma. So this thread will continues and I'm starting another bucket list for Vienna as well.
Tags:
Well said Ellen, I totally agree.
Thanks Bronwyn, we don't normally let Mocha sit in the front because we drive a stick shift car, so it was a real treat for him.
Nehemiah 8:10 The joy of the Lord is your strength... praying for you today Sam that you have His peace and the comfort of the Holy spirit ..
Your grandpa is setting amazing example of how to trust God.. singing hymns while in the hospital.. Bless his heart we all need to follow his lead...
That's a wonderful verse and song, Thank you for sharing! It'll be the song of the day.
Mocha, there are no words...you are in our prayers.
I know how incredibly difficult this is for you, and my heart breaks thinking of the sorrow you all are feeling. We all pray to just let our loved ones pass in their sleep so we don't have to make that awful decision, but in reality that hardly ever happens. I firmly believe, and almost every vet will tell you this, that when he quits eating, it is time. Until then, love every moment God has given you with him. Try to remember every detail. He has given you a chance to say good-bye, which is a mixed blessing. I firmly believe in Chinese medicine also- it may help decrease the symptoms.
When the time comes, you will think you can't do it, but you can. I cry uncontrollably with every animal I have to euthanize. My vet just knows that I will bawl. And it's OK. I spent almost an hour with Dillon afterwards, and my family literally had to pry me away from him. I just couldn't leave my best friend. Most likely the vet will sedate him first, which makes it much easier on him, and you. He will slip peacefully away, and your heart will break. But, he will always be there for you. That I promise. And he wouldn't want you to be so sad. Dogs live in the moment- every day is a brand new day. All worries are forgotten when they see you happy. So try to memorize the rest of the time. He has no idea that it is getting close, and when he does, it will be so hard for him- so the best you can do is love him enough to let him go. He knows you love him, and I know he adores you. That bond cannot be broken by death.
Jennifer, This is so beatifully written. All so very true! I wish I had recieved this when I lost Scooter last October.
Thank you Jen for sharing your experience with me.
Poor Mocha. I am glad to hear he is at least feeling better. I am also glad to hear you are able to do a photo shoot with him. You can never have too many photos of your fur kids. Praying that Mocha continues to feel better despite what he is going through. Hugs to you and your family.
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