Temperament, and bonding process with 2nd dog
My primary thing that I was looking for in a puppy was snuggly and cuddly. My last two dogs have been very independent, and while I adored them, I wanted a real cuddle bug this time around. I communicated this clearly to the breeder, and was told by that the pup I brought home was. I brought her home 6 days ago, and I have found her anything but cuddly since she got here. I am now wondering if maybe our definitions of this are a little different?
She's a pistol - perky, curious, energetic...and doesn't seem very interested in me at all. I pick her up and she looks the other way. She will set her head on my shoulder for a few seconds when I am carrying her, and then wants down. If I pick her up when I am sitting on the couch, she gets squirmy and jumps downs. All she wants to do is to try to get my 1st dog to play (who is still in the slightly annoyed stage of adjustment at this point), or to play with her toys.
I work from home, and have been spending a lot of time with her and have tried to work on this. I've tried giving her treats when she is sitting next to me, and it's helped with her jumping off immediately...but now when she's up she just sniffs for treats, and if she does't find any, or when they stop coming, she jumps off. She'll lay next to me if I pick her up when she is conked out for a nap, but that's it. I'm now wondering if this behavior maybe stems from not being well-socialized with humans? I do know she was was picked up by the breeder, but I'm wondering from the behaviors I've experienced that maybe she didn't have a lot of other human contact. I don't know...
She does have a strong herding instinct, and follows me around like a shadow and tugs at my pants leg. It's very cute. But my heart is breaking a little that she doesn't seem interested in snuggling at all, and far prefers my other dog to me. I am wondering if this is a behavior I can cultivate and will come with more bonding and trust? Can I create that kind of relationship with her? And at what point do I need to make the call that perhaps this puppy doesn't have the right temperament for me? (I have a small window of time to make this decision per the contract with the breeder.) I don't know if I am just reacting too quickly, or if I have a real cause for concern here...
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Beth on
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Most puppies only like to cuddle when they are sleepy.
There is a huge variety of Corgi personalities. Some really love to be fussed over and others don't like to be petted much at all. I'm not sure you can tell with a very young pup, but your breeder probably picked one of the more docile, human-oriented ones from the litter.
Most puppies will pay more attention to another dog than a person, given the chance. Just make sure you spend some time with her one-on-one almost every day, doing pleasant things.
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Permalink Reply by Natalie, Fiona, & Django on
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Ooooh, that's a great idea to spend some one-on-one time together with the pup every day! Just out of curiosity, how did you bond with your second without making the first feel completely displaced? I'm trying to find a balance, but it's the first time I've worked with a puppy while having an adult dog in the home as well. I appreciate the advice. :)
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By the way, you may find that sometimes you get the dog you needed even if you don't initially think it's the dog you wanted. :-)
Of my two, one is a sweet cuddler who loves belly rubs and the other hates to be petted, though he does like a nice neck massage if he 's sleepy. Belly rubs are RIGHT out of the question.
But my more aloof dog is the one who looks out for us, the one who protects the house, the one who comes running to offer help if someone says "ouch" and the one who lays on top of me all day if I'm sick. He's the one who notices if we're sad, gets upset if anyone is angry, and he's the one who would lay down his furry little life for us.
The cuddler, really, is all about what's in it for her. She likes to cuddle because it feels good to HER, not because she's helping us.
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Hi Beth! You are one wise woman, and that's a great point. How interesting to hear about the differences with your two pups. Talk about a study in opposites. Sounds like they each bring something different to the table. :)
I'm taking your words to heart, and you made me think about some things a little differently. One thing I've been actually delighted about with with this little girl is that she has blossomed in to a much more outgoing pup than when she was with the rest of her litter. She was more submissive and on the lower end of the totem pole in the hierarchy there, and when she came home, she was actually far more playful. I've never had a dog this active, and when I'm not busy taking something unwanted she's chewing on out of her mouth (and replacing it with a more appropriate choice...which is far less interesting in her mind ;), she makes me laugh with her expressive sounds. She has these dramatic sighs, and I can practically hear crossing her arms and slamming her bedroom door.
I will definitely keep this in mind.
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Permalink Reply by Anna Morelli on
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Natalie, after reading your responses to the various posts, you have obviously given your choice a lot of thought. My conclusion is that you have " the new mother gitters " :-D We've all been there!
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Haha!! I think you may be right, Anna!
See? That's why I value the community here so much - you guys really helped to "talk me off the ledge" and give me some much-needed perspective! :D I'm glad to know I'm not the only one!!
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Permalink Reply by Aric Michel Cramer on
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Hello, I am going to only speak from experience of the two dogs I myself have ever owned. And there certainly are much more experienced people on this website, but here are my two cents.
I assume that your new puppy is that adorable pup as your profile picture. Before I got a Corgi I did a load of research and many sources were telling me that Corgi's are not real cuddly dogs by nature. But there certainly is exceptions to this rule. When I first got Peiko he had a stressful time adapting to his new environment and would just crawl under something and just sleep. He was not all that interested in being my best friend, he was just like a person with dementia that kind of wandered around with no real goal in mind.
I did obtain him while he was 5 weeks old, so that is probably to be expected. Though now he is very attached and will put all 25lbs of weight right on my lap and leave a big old mat of hair on my clothes as he steps off. When I talk about this with my wife she is certain it is because we have raised our dogs in a loving environment. I am a little skeptical to say that is the reason he is the way he is, I think personality plays a role in this as well.
When we got Polly though, right from the get go she would hate to be in a room alone without us and would throw tantrums because she wasn't allowed on the bed (at the time). Eventually we caved in and she has to sleep between our legs or have some sort of physical contact at all times in order to be satisfied. She loves playing with Peiko but in the end she is all about being attached with us.
So in summary if I had to guess if your puppy is going to be a cuddle bug, I would have to say it is impossible to tell at this point. Earn her love and respect and it may or may not play out that way according to her personality. But if you were to talk to my wife she would say show her all the love in the world and she will become a cuddly dog in no time. Though if what you were looking for a cuddle dog in the first place a corgi wouldn't be my number one pick, but it certainly is not a bad one.
I hope I wasn't too boring :D
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Hi Aric - You weren't boring at all, and I really appreciated hearing about your experiences with both Peiko and Polly! (And yes, that cutie in my profile pic is little Fiona! Thanks for the kind words. :) I'm glad that things worked out so well for you guys! I'm feeling a little better about the fact that the cuddliness may come with time, love, and nurture. After everyone's thoughtful feedback, I feel a little more comfortable trusting the breeder's assessment that she is going to be a cuddler when all is said and done. I guess these things may take some time, but I'm just impatient for the bonding to happen RIGHT. NOW! ...Because that's clearly how I think it should work in my world. ;-)
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