Gaining Her Trust
I am trying to train Camber to be more trusting of me. She is very timid around males. I want her to be able to hop up on the couch while I am sitting there. She’ll do if my girlfriend is on the couch, but not me.
I tried coaxing her with a Greenie which is her favorite. I’d let her see and smell it, put on the sofa, the next cushion down and command her to hop up on the sofa. If I was sitting somewhere else, she’d jump right up there. Now, she circles around nervous, not sure what to do and just lays down on the other side of the room with her mouth watering.
When I give her treats, if it’s not right into her mouth, she’ll get freaked and just walk away. This has made training so difficult as even giving her treats is not sure-fire. She’ll walk away from any treat. She won’t even go on her hind legs to grab it.
What should I do?
I tried coaxing her with a Greenie which is her favorite. I’d let her see and smell it, put on the sofa, the next cushion down and command her to hop up on the sofa. If I was sitting somewhere else, she’d jump right up there. Now, she circles around nervous, not sure what to do and just lays down on the other side of the room with her mouth watering.
When I give her treats, if it’s not right into her mouth, she’ll get freaked and just walk away. This has made training so difficult as even giving her treats is not sure-fire. She’ll walk away from any treat. She won’t even go on her hind legs to grab it.
What should I do?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by John Wolff on
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My guess is she had a bad experience with somebody sometime?
You do need to be able to reward her, so maybe find the minimum distance at which she'll accept a treat -- maybe put it on the ground before her -- and gradually try to diminish that distance.
If she's generally shy of males, try enlisting other male friends.
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Permalink Reply by Jane Christensen on
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My thought is she has had some bad experiences with males and this will take some time and she will probably never be as comfortable around you as she may be with a female. I had a Cocker years ago that I got at 4 months old and she was very afraid of men and I think something happened to her b/4 we got her to make her this way! All you can do is keep trying but don't push it...maybe you cut up a greenie and put a little chunk 1/2 way between you and the dog and just keep slowly decreasing the distance.. Carry treats in your pocket and even if she gives eye contact give her a treat ANY positive move for her...treat her! Did you say somewhere that you take her out? Do the same thing...cut up a cheap hotdog and take it with and any slight jesture toward you treat her! Also be VERY aware of you voice it should be happy and fun not a command...she'll come around but she needs to learn how to trust you/men...
Good luck and keep us updated!
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Permalink Reply by mosesbotbol on
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Yes, she is a rescue with a long sad story and very timid of males. I am the one who walks her, feeds her, washes, and brushes her yet she has never been happy when I get home or shown any affection outside of her belly rub on the bed every morning. She is a ham for the only first thing in the morning.
She'll come right up to me if I am on the ground or in the kitchen and take it no problem. It's getting her to jump up on the sofa next to me to take it I am havin issues with.
If I make her "work" for the treat, forget it. Unless it's in a silver platter, she loses interest and will walk away.
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Well this is very good that she will come up to you on the ground or in the kitchen...maybe in her old life she learned not to go on the couch and so she may have a story that plays through her mind of what happens if she does this. I would just try occasionally and leave it till she feels more comfortable. Just keep treating and hope she slowly gets better. Thank you for rescuing this lady with a sad past! Sometimes it takes a long while for a dog to adjust to a good living situation if the were abused! Glad she l;ikes her am belly rubs!!!!
Good Luck!
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She has no problem being on the couch. She sleeps on it hours a day. It's just when I am on the sofa, she does not like to jump to her spot. She starts acting weird and being a you know what.
My strategy is just sitting on the sofa with the Greenie and eventually she'll build the courage to go for it.
Basically, she loves the sofa, loves taking food from me, but both- forget it.
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Can you bribe her with chicken or hot dogs or some really yummy treat???
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Ya, maybe I should step up the reward some. A meaty bone from the next pork shoulder. I don't think she could resist that. She'll work it for 2 hours before I have to take it away.
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Permalink Reply by Beth on
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There are lots of reasons why animals might distrust one gender over another. Bad experiences, lack of socialization, a naturally shy temperament.
My cat, while a foundling, was never abused as far as I can tell. Yet she never liked men much, because of their deeper voices. She's ok with my husband, but if she would be sleeping on the bed and he'd cough, she'd jump off every time. If I would cough, she was fine.
So, my husband started modulating the pitch of his cough if she's on the bed. He'll cough from higher in his diaphragm, which makes it not sound so low. Presto, my cat's startle reaction to my husband's cough instantly disappeared.
Listen to a dog bark, and the different tones they use. For most dogs, their play bark is relatively high-pitched. Their warning bark is much deeper, from way down in the chest. Their fearful bark is a low "huf-huf."
Now listen to how a man laughs, coughs, talks, compared to a woman. In general, the man's pitch is lower, his coughs and laughs are louder and from deeper in the chest. To an animal, especially one lacking early socialization like your rescue probably lacked, those lower and louder noises coming from men must sound an awful lot like warnings or threats or fearful sounds. For most animals that have gender issues, the issue is with men, and many of those animals were likely never abused or mistreated.
That may have nothing to do with it in Camber's case, but watch her and see how she reacts if you cough or laugh or sneeze, if there is any particular thing that startles her. So, for example, if your laugh makes her startle a bit, she would avoid you on the couch if she knows sometimes you watch sit-coms there and laugh.
If you can pinpoint any specific actions that startle her, you can work on modifying that particular thing you do, if possible. And you can carry around small, tasty treats in your pocket. And, let's say your cough makes her jump a bit. Every time you cough, toss a treat your way and you will recondition her to associate the sound with a positive thing.
It's just a thought. We tend to look at the bigger, more complex issues as the root cause (she was abused, say) and sometimes they are the problem, but sometimes it's something very small and simple.
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And remember if you are using frequent treat rewards to cut back her food a bit!
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Permalink Reply by David on
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Yes Beth. The pitch in our voice plays in a very important role. I had 3 dogs before Yoda. I found it very helpful to convey good and happy feeling in a high pitch voice. I am quite used to talking to Yoda in a high falsetto tone, even though people look at me weird....
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Pitch is a function of the size of the mechanism. Lower voices come from bigger, scarier animals.
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I've tried talking like a total fairy and nothing changes. Glad my girlfriend does not have a tape recorder! I have always had a good relationship with dogs and every dog I have in my life was a rescue or adult when we got them.
I am not asking much from Camber, but would like to be able to pet her on the sofa or hold her without going through trama. I must say she is similar when being held with my girlfriend.
We've had her 1.5 years and she has improved a lot. Maybe I thought she would evolve faster. Her timidness towards taking food has slowed the training or made near impossible for me.
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