Multi-dog people... do you ever feel guilty?
Do you ever feel guilty for having a "favorite" dog?
I often feel guilty because I love Tucker more than Zoey. It's not intentional, but when given the chance, I'd rather take him with me or what not. For one, I've had him longer. But mostly, I think it's because we've had to work SO hard to get to where we are now with his fearfulness and behavioral issues. I've only had Zoey about 9 months, but she was basically a "ready-made" family pet when I adopted her. She is easy going, loves everyone, and just wants to please. A great dog, right? Tucker is the opposite-- high strung, only does want to do what he wants to do, and likes almost no one. Why I like him, who knows. I guess I feel more like Tucker is family and Zoey is a pet.
Don't get me wrong, they both get the same quality of care and she lives a great life with me. I just struggle with it-- I feel like it's morally wrong or something.
Does anyone else have this issue?
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Bev Levy on
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Man, I think you described my relationship with my dogs. Sparty and I really have such a connection but he is anxious, grumpy and often just generally a pain. Izzy and Misty are both sweet and loving all the time. My dog sitter told me that while she really likes all my dogs, she likes Sparty best because she feels like when he is affectionate he really means it. I don't feel guilty because I do really love them all, it is just that Sparty is special :)
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Permalink Reply by Miranda~ Moses | Maya | Maverick on
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I agree. It's not that you don't love your other baby/babies... it's just that one is just a little more special to you. My boyfriend had Moses when we got together. Then we got Murphy because I had never had my OWN dog; even tho Moses was just as much mine in our little "family". Murphy was my first furbaby. I feel like he truly understands me (how a human only can't... with no question as to why I'm feeling how I'm feeling). He is his own dog and will be off across the room all day, but if I'm feeling like I need a hug, he won't leave my side. Maya (the newest) and Moses are great snugglers too... but it's Murphy, my special furbaby, who can really turn my mood around.
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Permalink Reply by Teresa Gilpin on
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I agree with all of you! I have two corgis and love them and am devoted to both, but my little girl is sooooo special to me. I don't know why this is, we just have a special connection!
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Permalink Reply by Jackie (Lilu & Loki) on
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We have a similar situation, but sort of the opposite. We adopted Lilu when she was 10 weeks old, so we've had her most of her life. She was a bit of trouble when she was a puppy, of course, but she's basically been a "perfect" dog for so long I feel spoiled. She doesn't bark too much, she tells us when she has to go out (and would hold it forever if she had to), and she would be equally happy playing or chilling with us on the couch. We got Loki in September as a playmate for Lilu, and she was 6 or 7 months old when we got her. She is probably more of a "typical" corgi, and more of a challenge. She's a sweet, happy dog, but I'm convinced she has ADHD. I'm putting her through obedience training right now and it helps a lot, but she still barks a lot, eats poop, is generally hyper, and still has the occasional accident. She's still a good dog, and I love her, but I think maybe just because we had Lilu first and she's so easy, we were spoiled. Maybe after we've had Loki longer and her behaviors get completely under control, we'll feel closer to her too and bond through the training.
There seems to be a theme with loving your first dog more. Perhaps whatever their personality, they just set a precedence in your mind and you can't help but compare every other dog to that "bar."
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Permalink Reply by Rachael & Waffle on
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I'm worried about this... I want to be a two-dog household eventually but I feel like no dog could even hold a candle to me and Waffle's relationship... he's just so special!
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Permalink Reply by Melissa and Franklin! on
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Rachel, I was so in your boat before I got Kirby. I got a 2nd dog knowing that there would never be another Franklin. And while I do like Kirby a lot, I know that he and I will never have the relationship me and Franklin do. He is just a different dog, different personality, and we will have a different bond. I don't really feel guilty about it though because I know both my dogs receive the same level of care, the same yummy treats, games, and pets, just Franklin gets to sleep in bed with me while Kirby is banished to his crate lol. So far this seems to suit everyone just fine. Kirby is more of Franklin's pet and Franklin is just my perfect little boy.
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Permalink Reply by Beth on
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I love Madison. She is sweet and affectionate. You can do anything with her. She's so easy. She's the best cuddler. She is the first dog to greet us in the morning and when we come home from work. I love her to pieces and would never trade her for a different dog. I'm so glad we got her and she makes our house complete.
But Jack is.... Jack. He's my boy. He's stubborn and bossy and wakes me up at least once a week barking at some perceived threat in the yard. I am totally convinced he'd lay down my life for me. And of all my pets, he's the one who makes my heart fill up whenever I look at him.
And I think these things get worse as time goes by and you add to your list of pets you've had over a lifetime. Boo is a wonderful kitty. She purrs by my head at bedtime. I love her to death. But my dear departed Alice... I don't think I'll ever feel about any pet the way I did about her. We were young together. She was with me for all the significant events in my young-adult life. How can any pet compete with that?
My sneaking suspicion is that most parents would admit they have some they connect to more than others also. It's just human nature. And yes, sometimes I feel guilty about it. I can't help but wonder if they can tell.
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By the way, every serious dog person I've ever talked to talks about "heart dogs." I think that's what you are referring to. I don't think it's necessarily the case that every time someone has more than one pet, they feel more of a connection to one than the other. But I do think when that special pet comes along, you just know it. You can have just one dog and not have it be your "heart dog" even though you love it very much. A heart dog clicks in all the right ways; is good in the things that are important to you and naughty in a way that makes you laugh, or makes you secretly proud, or something along those lines.
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Permalink Reply by Ludi on
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This made a lot of sense to me, Beth. I have had two dogs in my life, and although I love Ace and would take a speeding car for him, my first dog (a Basenji named Paha) remains my heart dog. She was the polar opposite of Ace in training and good manners, and I rarely had time to spend a full day with her while in school, but I loved that dog so fiercely. Ace is such a good boy, so decent, but he and I just haven't clicked emotionally. He loves four-legged creatures, not two. Paha's entire body would quiver with joy when she saw me, and I felt like the only person in the entire world when I was with her.
Now I'm all teary-eyed, gosh darn it!
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I totally agree with the "heart dog" thing. I was convinced my big bear of a mutt I had to say goodbye to a few years ago was my heart dog, but truly I don't think any dog will ever be as closely bonded to me as Franklin. Your description is perfect- we click in all the right ways, he is never really naughty but when he is it makes me laugh, and there are days I'll go to school or work and miss him even though its only been a few hours since I saw him last. I can tell what he is thinking and he seems to know what I am thinking and feeling, my bond with my big mutt was never as strong as it is with Franklin even though I loved him very much. I think when we meet our heart dogs we need to make sure to cherish every second because our time together won't be long enough and we will never have as deep of a connection with any other living soul.
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Permalink Reply by Jennifer Markley on
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Not really. But I see where you are coming from. I love all my dogs differently, like my kids. They are each special in their own way. Seanna is the b***** one, but great sense of humor. Jackson is my laid-back, happy go lucky, loves to snuggle buddy. Sage is, well, Sage. She is my neurotic, just wants to please you no matter what the cost, totally insecure, always has to know that you still love her dog. The one that always gets in trouble, but really doesn't mean to. I have a very soft spot for her--I love her to death.
So when we go to Kansas, we always take Seanna. She doesn't get her panties in a wad. She travels awesome, as she's a very secure dog. She's great to travel with. Jackson got to go this last time because Amber wanted to take her dog so her grandma could see her. We don't take Sage. She just gets so nervous and neurotic, that it is harder on her than just leaving her with my parents. We can't leave her at a strange house without her having been there a lot, to the point where she is comfortable.. The last time we took her, she chewed her way out of a metal dog crate, just destroyed it. Managed to destroy a wood baby gate. Although didn't do anything wrong when she made it upstairs. Probably because Seanna was with her. But, the next time we left her at my parent's, and she sat all day and stared out the window wondering if we were coming back. It broke my heart. Now she does much better, as she is very bonded to my dad also. So yes, in a way I feel guilty, but I have to remind myself that's it's just easier on her to keep her where she is comfortable. What fun is vacation if you're scared to death the whole time?
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Permalink Reply by steve smith on
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Dont you think that was the way it was in the litter???? Their mom had a favorite and they knew it. But she loved them all
And yes I feel guiltly
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