Farewell, sweet Maddie. 12/09/04 to 06/17/16
With heavy hearts we sent our Maddie girl on her way yesterday. She had DM and did great with her cart for nine months, but it was starting to move into her front end. She had gone from needing nail caps in front, to a front boot, and more recently to stumbling and falling sometimes as her right front leg gave out on her She was coughing when she was drinking as well. We did not want to wait until she went down completely in front and so we decided to let her go while she was still happy.
Deciding when to finally stop with her is one of the hardest decisions I've ever made in my life. On her last morning she played with a squeaky squirrel, had a nice big dental treat, went out for a little toddle in her cart, and got fussed by one of her many, many fans.
Having a DM dog was not the life of tragedy that I would have believed by reading about it beforehand. On the contrary, there was a certain sweetness to taking care of her and a series of lessons in watching how cheerfully she faced adversity.
But the end is hard, because I have never in my life euthanized a happy animal before, and rather than a mercy it felt like I was just killing a dog who very much still wanted to be alive. We wanted to spare her what was to come, and in my head I know we did the right thing. Still it is a hard thing to have your dog still smiling at you and looking for more turkey and chocolates as the sedative takes hold.
We will never forget you, sweet Madison. You faced life with joyful abandon. We miss you terribly and are so grateful for every moment we had.
Run free, brave girl. Forever in our hearts.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Alison Prasavath on
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Maddie lived a wonderful life and knew just how much you loved her. Thinking of you during this time.
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Permalink Reply by Jane Christensen on
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Oh Beth, I am sorry for your loss. I remember all the conversations and thoughts when you were considering getting Maddie. You and your family gave her a great life and fun times. I love the picture of her happily running!
In the end you chose to do what was the best for Maddie and that's what counts. In your heart you didn't want her to suffer. Last fall I had a cat put down and I should have before he suffered and I feel guilty.
Hugs to Jack,I bet he'll be lonesome too.
Take care!
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Permalink Reply by Beth on
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Thank you Jane. It was nearly 7 years ago that she came to live with us. I've been thinking about it a lot the past few days. While she was in the chair, I didn't think too much about the way she was before. I learned long ago that the secret to being happy with a chronic illness is to live for what today is like, not what yesterday was. Now she's gone I've allowed myself my memories. She was such a fun girl! But when she first came we weren't certain she'd work because she totally ignored Jack for quite a while. She bonded to us right away.
Jack is sad and confused right now.
So many of the Corgis that I came to know and love when I started posting here have gone over the bridge. I miss them and I miss their people, and I miss the days when this place was so live!y!
My thinking on the timing was that she started having bleeding toe-tops on the back foot in March of last year and by July she could not stand at all. And she started having bleeding toes on the front in March of this year, so I feared by July her front would not support her either. And we did not want to wait until that happened.
She was always such a happy dog. She lit the place up with her smile and joyful barking. The place is quiet and sad without her.
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Beth, I remember those times when MyCorgi was much more active! I wish we could get it that way again!!!!!
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Permalink Reply by Bev Levy on
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Frap on sweet Maddie! The pain of loss is very difficult to bear. I didn't think i would ever get over losing my Sparty. Since then I've lost Misty and Izzy too. You just take the time to grieve and eventually you can have perspective on the memories of joyous times. I have found getting a new one to be the most healing but many people find waiting to be better. I remember when your beloved kitty died. They are all in our lives for too short a time but are so worth the trouble. Hugs to you and your family
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I agree Bev, I was one that used to wait because I felt I wasn't being "true" to the one that died and then several years ago I wondered "why" I felt I had to wait so long...I went and picked out Wynn a couple weeks later. I am so glad I did!
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Losing Alice was the worst and thanks for remembering her. She was a shy little girl and I was literally her whole world. I found her when I'd just graduated college and there were times when I felt like it was just me and her. I felt like a part of me died when I lost her. With Maddie, I just miss her unending joy so much.
We have yet to decide if we want another now or not. Partly we will see what Jack has to say about it. He is 9 and he's given up a lot this past year and a half or so. For the immediate future, we need a bit of a break. The past two years have been tough. They had seemingly never-ending rounds of clostridium infection, and then as Maddie has declined we have not been able to really do anything. We went to Disney in April of last year and have not gone anywhere that kept us out past supper time since. I would not trade a minute of it but we need to catch our breaths before we decide what we really want.
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Permalink Reply by Linda on
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Oh Beth...I am so sorry! It is hard to watch the downward spiral with DM. Max was good in the house with the cart but he didn't like it outside but both my husband and I would get him out and hold up his back end so he could walk the yard and do his business. He was happy and always ready with a woof. The day he started to lose control of his bladder...we didn't know if it was the DM or the lymphoma...we knew it wasn't fair to him. You did what was right for Maddie.
I wish this site was active like it was when I first joined.
As for waiting to have another join your family...for us adding a new furball to love soon was the best thing. I know that having Brady drop in our laps before Max was gone helped not only us but Katie too. She has never been an only dog. I know she grieved for Max but her and Brady have bonded and that makes my heart feel good.
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I am so glad Brady was able to help you ease the pain of losing Max. I know how special he was to you. :-(
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Permalink Reply by Chelsea Meredith on
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I am so incredibly sorry for your loss, Beth. Sending you lots of love, positive energy, and corgi kisses. It's never ever easy to lose a furry loved one. I'm so very glad that Jack is there for you during these hard times. He must be just as hurt and confused. You did the right thing, even though it may not feel like it now. I waited too long with my childhood dog of 15 years. I thought she could just push through like always, but I was wrong. Even though her spirit was willing, her flesh was weak and she was suffering. It was my mother that had to convince me that it was her time and letting her go was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. But I was there for her, holding her and bathing her in affection, and in her last moments I know she was happy. It was in her death that brought life, too. When her ashes came back, they were in a beautiful hand glazed urn. I didn't care who did it or how much it cost, I just wanted my girl back with me so I didn't even ask where she went to get cremated. When I got the box and doubled checked who did the cremation, it was my corgi breeder that I had been speaking to on/off for the last few months of my girl's life! I had no idea! The breeder was so touched that she gave me the pick of her next litter: my sweetest, dearest Gutie. The person who gave me closure of one pet, gave me the life of another. Proves to show that when one door closes, another opens. Hannah passed in September 2014 and Gutie was brought into my life at 7 weeks in April 2015. Preparing for a puppy really helped me heal, but I didn't have another dog at the time and I missed the sound of toes pattering on tile and woofs and snuggles so much; it was so painful until Gutie came home. I wish you the best during this difficult time! Hugs!
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Will comment more later, but I wanted to add that Maddie's breeder told me that Maddie's doggie mom went over the bridge the day after she did, on 6/18/16. What are the chances?
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I'd say very slim! They can have fun being free from pain and can romp with each other again!
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