Temperament, and bonding process with 2nd dog
My primary thing that I was looking for in a puppy was snuggly and cuddly. My last two dogs have been very independent, and while I adored them, I wanted a real cuddle bug this time around. I communicated this clearly to the breeder, and was told by that the pup I brought home was. I brought her home 6 days ago, and I have found her anything but cuddly since she got here. I am now wondering if maybe our definitions of this are a little different?
She's a pistol - perky, curious, energetic...and doesn't seem very interested in me at all. I pick her up and she looks the other way. She will set her head on my shoulder for a few seconds when I am carrying her, and then wants down. If I pick her up when I am sitting on the couch, she gets squirmy and jumps downs. All she wants to do is to try to get my 1st dog to play (who is still in the slightly annoyed stage of adjustment at this point), or to play with her toys.
I work from home, and have been spending a lot of time with her and have tried to work on this. I've tried giving her treats when she is sitting next to me, and it's helped with her jumping off immediately...but now when she's up she just sniffs for treats, and if she does't find any, or when they stop coming, she jumps off. She'll lay next to me if I pick her up when she is conked out for a nap, but that's it. I'm now wondering if this behavior maybe stems from not being well-socialized with humans? I do know she was was picked up by the breeder, but I'm wondering from the behaviors I've experienced that maybe she didn't have a lot of other human contact. I don't know...
She does have a strong herding instinct, and follows me around like a shadow and tugs at my pants leg. It's very cute. But my heart is breaking a little that she doesn't seem interested in snuggling at all, and far prefers my other dog to me. I am wondering if this is a behavior I can cultivate and will come with more bonding and trust? Can I create that kind of relationship with her? And at what point do I need to make the call that perhaps this puppy doesn't have the right temperament for me? (I have a small window of time to make this decision per the contract with the breeder.) I don't know if I am just reacting too quickly, or if I have a real cause for concern here...
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Priss, Charlie & Kaylee (PK) on
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I'm no expert but I think it's a little early for much concern. Six days can mean a lot at that stage, but you still have plenty of time to build a good relationship with your new pup. As many people have stated before, go check out a puppy class for bonding and her socialization in class and beyond.
I also wonder if she is just too interested in her new home to really be as snuggly as she was with the breeder. Kaylee was not a cuddly puppy, but I persisted with holding her and petting her gently. She is more of a snuggle-pup now (at 1 yr) than she was when we first got her. It was all play and games then, now she'll lay on my lap during my morning coffee.
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Permalink Reply by Natalie, Fiona, & Django on
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Hi Priss. I appreciate your feedback, and was wondering if it might be that it was early in the process and she's just interested in exploring everything as well. It has been a little while since I've raised a puppy (my last two dogs have been older rescues). Maybe she was just more snuggly with the breeder since she had a bond with her, and she and I are just beginning ours. :) Glad to hear that Kaylee lays on your lays with you for your morning coffee now!
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Permalink Reply by Bev Levy on
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At this point your puppy is just trying to fit in. Generally she will be more drawn to your other dog just because she came from a "pack'. You may find after she gets adjusted that she will be more interested in you. Puppies are babies and need to have play time as well as rest. I had a corgi pup that wasn't very affectionate as a puppy but I would frequently hold him when he was sleepy (but not bother him) and he did grow up to be a velcro dog so there is time. When she is older classes, training tricks and walking her will help re-enforce your bond with her.
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Hi Bev. That's a great point, and exactly the kind of experience I was looking for. I see small signs that maybe it could be developed like you did by holding your sleeping puppy, but I just didn't know if that might be my own wishful thinking. Honestly, your story helped a lot. I do intend to take her to classes, train her with tricks, and maybe even try herding if she continues to grow to have a strong instinct for it. I'm glad to know that your pup developed in to a velcro boy. :) I think part is nature and part is nurture...I just didn't know how much nurture really entered in to the picture. Thanks!
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Permalink Reply by Yuki & Ellie on
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It sounds like she's just being a puppy. :) She's just been removed from what was her home, up until this point, and she wants to explore and play and get to know her new pack and environment. Ellie was very much like that when she was a puppy, too. By the time she was 1 year old, however, she had blossomed into a cuddle bug and now she loves sitting on my lap and getting hugged. I definitely think you should give her some time to adjust and grow.
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Aw, your story made me smile, Jen! Helps to know that this may just be normal puppy behavior, and to hear your experience with Ellie. This is what I needed to know! :) What I think I'm hearing here is that it will take some time, perhaps a year or longer, but if the aptitude is there, it may be able to be nurtured. :)
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Permalink Reply by Anna Morelli on
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Sounds about right for a happy, healthy, smart pup . Personally, I would worry if the pup was any different... You wanted a cuddly pup but, as far as I know, there is no way to test or predict this mindset in a very young puppy. You can choose a more submissive puppy, one that likes belly rubs, but that's about it. To select a puppy from a working breed, that has to have some independence by nature of the work it was bred to do, and expect it to act as a lapdog is unrealistic. That said, relationships mature slowly and in their own good time and the puppy, any puppy, should be enjoyed for what it is, unless you have serious temperament problems which no pet should display. You can foster certain traits by rewarding them, but you cannot change the personality of a puppy or accelerate the maturing of that personality. Same with children....
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Very wise. Thanks Anna!
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Permalink Reply by Mai on
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Maybe the corgi is not the right breed of dog to match your requirements? As has been pointed out, they are quite independent. There are some corgi that may be couch potato dogs but, they might not necessarily want to cuddle with you. Mine is like that, he'll follow me room to room but, when we settle, he'll go find his own spot to settle in and not be near me. Sometimes, he'll lay at my feet to sleep but, not all the time. If I really, really wanted to cuddle with him and he's in a tolerable mood, he'll stay in the spot I move him to to be near me. Otherwise, he finds his own space.
Maybe you should look more for a breed of dog that was specifically bred to be lap dogs? I think they might be more cuddlebugs than a working breed like the corgi. By a huge coincidence I came upon this article on MSN today. Here's the link:
http://living.msn.com/family-parenting/pets/12-couch-potato-dog-bre...
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Thanks Mai, and I enjoyed looking at the link. Honestly, though, lapdog is not really what I want, and getting a corgi was not a decision I entered in to lightly or without great research and consideration. I fell in love with the breed 14 years ago, and seriously researched them as a choice for me for a year before beginning to interview breeders and take the plunge. One of the things I like about corgis is that they actually aren't couch potatoes. I want to be able to have fun and be active with my girl, and then have some snuggles at the end of it all. (Even just a few!) I have quite a bit of experience with herding breeds, and have owned a sheltie, a corgi/lab mix, and now my shepherd mix. (He sounds very much like your boy. He wants to be in the same room, but needs his own space - lol.) The sheltie was a complete cuddler (I got him as an 8 week old pup), and the other two were adopted as older dogs and have had friendly temperaments, but been very independent.
Thanks to reading many thoughtful threads here, I did go in to this very aware that some corgis are very independent, and others are more cuddly. I discussed this with each of the breeders I interviewed, asked if what I was looking for was realistic, and let them know I was willing to wait for the pup that was the right fit.
I really appreciate you raising the question, though. I think those are very important things for any owner to consider!
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Permalink Reply by Ludi on
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Give it time. You can search on this site over a dozen stories of puppies being pretty aloof and fiercely independent for months after their arrival, and gradually blossoming into loving, cuddle-friendly dog. That being said, corgis were a "one size fits all" farm dog for centuries, and their independent working nature was prized as it meant they were a very low maintenance, high-reliability partner for the family. Some are more human-oriented than others, of course. I have a Cardigan who values pets and cuddles very little. It's just his character quirk; try as I did to change it, I couldn't. But I know he still loves me fiercely, and would be lost without his humans.
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That's a great point. Thanks Ludi. :)
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