Excited about potential new puppy, but has anyone made you feel bad about not adopting?
My boyfriend and I have been fans of corgis for a few years now, but the time was never right to get a dog until a few months ago. We dived into doing our research on the breed, local breeders and rescues, and ultimately decided to go with a breeder because even though our previous dogs while growing up were rescues, we've never experienced the joys of raising a puppy. We have shared our excitement with several people, and while most were very happy for us, a few basically made us feel guilty for not going the adoption route even though we explained that not all breeders are puppy mills, and yes, we are fully aware that there are tons of dogs that deserve a good home. I'm a bit sensitive, so I really took it to heart and it's been a downer on our puppy acquiring experience. Has anyone else dealt with this, and if so, what do you do and/or say back?
On a side note, I just want to say how much I enjoy this site! I've been stalking the forums and blogs for a couple of months now, and I'm so impressed with the wealth of knowledge and support here. Thanks, all!
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Yuki & Ellie on
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Most of us have encountered this situation at one time or another and I agree that it can really put a damper on what should otherwise be a happy and exciting time. The few times that I have been put into this situation, here are some of the things I pointed out:
1) "We wanted dogs that had a known past - we have children and did not want to adopt a dog that may have had bad experiences with children. Responsible breeders are very selective with the parent dogs' personalities and it's much more likely that you'll get a dog with the personality that fits you, your family, and your lifestyle."
2) "Adoption is a wonderful thing and I agree that it's important, but it's not right for everyone. If there's a certain type of dog that you love, you should not be limited to just shelter adoption when so many breeds simply are not available that way."
3) "Buying from a responsible breeder is adoption! The pup was not born to fill my request for a puppy. The puppy was already here in the world and in need of a loving home. Who knows where she may have ended up if we hadn't found her?"
There's no shame in seeking out a healthy pup from a responsible breeder, Vi! Especially if you're just starting out as a dog owner or really want a certain type of dog.
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Permalink Reply by Linda on
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The majority of dogs over my lifetime have been pound puppies....all wonderful dogs. There came a time when we wanted an Irish Wolfhound, we know the breed well but couldn't afford one when we were first married. That required a breeder. We got grief. All 3 of my corgis were either rescues or like Katie...being retired and re-homed. But because they were purebreds we got grief before they found out they were rescues. I simply told people we were looking for specific traits in a dog and the best way to assure that was by going thru a good breeder.
Do not let anyone get in the way of what you want. They do their thing and you do what is right for you. Enjoy that puppy and make no excuses for what you want.
And I wholeheartedly agree with each point that Jen made.
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Permalink Reply by rae on
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yeah, we've encountered that a lot. although my boss just bought a bernese mountain dog that he flew in from a breeder in ohio and nobody gives him any guff at all.
i've noticed men and women are more likely to point it out/act superior if you're a woman than vs. if you're a man. but that's just because people suck.
also, yeah, it's common. and we know that by bringing home machete there's a shelter pup out there somewhere who didn't get a home. we have our reasons, we have lots of them, actually, but ultimately it's nobody's business. we stay active in shelter organizations, we've adopted/rescued all of our cats, and continue to donate and work with rescue stuff. so, my conscience is clear and otherwise i don't give an F what anyone else thinks or says.
don't let them get to you, getting a puppy is exciting! this should be a happy time for you!
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Permalink Reply by Andrea on
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Yes, I encountered this as well. When we were on our search for Ein we had lots of our friends give us grief for it. We were only looking at show breeders and doing our homework. We wanted a good quality dog with the proper health checks. However, I still had some of my friends/mom group friends tell me I was a horrible person for not adopting, that I wanted a dog as a fashion accessory more than a pet, ect ect ect. It hurt, but in the end, it's not their dog.
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Permalink Reply by Beth on
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There are lots and LOTS of kids in the world that need good homes (including many right here) and yet do people get grief for having a baby instead of adopting?
There are something like 7 million new dogs acquired each year and about 3 million that go through the shelter system. The math is not in favor of those who insist no one should breed; within less than a year, there would be more people looking for dogs than available dogs. And even so dogs would be put down in shelters. Why? Because if I want a dog under 40 pounds who is good with cats, kids, and other dogs; who is easily trainable; who is not prone to certain health problems, and socialized to certain things, I am NOT going to bring home a random 60-pound cross with uncertain background from the shelter. I would not get any dog at all, and that unadoptable shelter dog would still be put down.
Plus, here in my neck of the woods, we import thousands of dogs from southern kill shelters each year through private rescue to meet demand; there are simply not enough unwanted mixed-breed rescue dogs to go around. Why should the entire country have to stop breeding dogs just because there are too many people not spaying and neutering in the south and there are way more pit bulls produce than there are homes that want pit bulls?
Logic never works against heartfelt fanaticism, but that dose not mean you have to let the heartfelt fanatics ruin your day.
Get your puppy and never feel guilty. :-)
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Permalink Reply by Bev Levy on
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Don't feel guilty. You are supporting a breeder that hopefully wants to improve the breed and make sure they do not end up in shelters. There is room for everyone and you can support your local rescues in other ways. Just considering what type of dog will fit in with your lifestyle and training and caring for it properly reduces the number of unwanted dogs by one! If everyone did that there would not be unwanted dogs.
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Beth...our daughter is adopted. We got grief because she is from Korea. There were some who wanted to know why American babies weren't good enough for us. My response...did you ever try to adopt an American baby thru the system? Forget it. We never ever got called once from Social Services for a baby. 30 years ago you couldn't adopt across racial lines either...Social Services didn't allow it. So a white couple could not adopt a half white/half black child...that child had to go to a black family. No one could ever explain to me why the child could only to go a black family when it was half of each.
Oh well, I got off topic. Sorry.
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There are always people who will give you grief no matter what you do. I have heard it's terribly hard to get an infant domestically, but that older kids in foster care are tough to place. And I understand that; it's hard to take on a child who has already had a tough life and brings that with them.
People feel passionately about things. They tend to involve themselves in things that are not their business. I suppose we've all probably been guilty of that at some level at least once in our lives.
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Permalink Reply by Kara on
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The fact that they made you feel guilty is part of the reason why they did it. Adoption is great! However, I must say, it's becoming a fad. I mean if you go to Petco, they have all these little items for your pet that says "I was adopted!" in a very "hey look how wonderful I am!" short of way. You also see it everywhere on the internet too. Don't let these people make you feel guilty, most of the time they just want to belittle you and make themselves feel good.
Here I'll even tell you a story that my Intro to Animal science teacher told me. He told us of his friend who was a really great breeder, well she lives in the hollywood area and gets a lot of those "uppity" type people. Well one day while she was showing a couple their puppy she over heard them say "well...we can just tell people she was adopted right?" She rightfully got so angry that she refused to sell to them.
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Permalink Reply by Teresa Gilpin on
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I agree with every one of these posts! We have gotten some grief from some co-workers, I just politely tell them, "yes adoption is really great", and then just quietly walk off. I'm not gonna' argue with them, yes, of course adoption is great. But we wanted a puppy of a specific breed. We adopted ours from a great family that had a little farm here in TX. Don't let anyone ruin your excitement over getting a puppy. Getting a puppy, (especially a corgi), is so much fun and love! (And fur, lots of fur)!
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Beth....domestically pretty much the only way to get a baby is thru private adoption and those fees are much more than we could ever have afforded.
I'm sure we have all been passionate about something in our lives where we got somewhat over-zealous. Hopefully we learn as we get older that one size does not fit all and each has to chose their own way.
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I can tell you that this is no longer true. Private infant adoption these days is the easiest way to get a baby, but it's expensive (like 20-40k depending on the state and agency and mothers fees). International adoption isn't cheap either. A friend of mine adopted from Russia right before they shut down the program, it cost them 40 grand with all the fees, paperwork, home studies, and travel. Alternatively my lesbian friends have aopted 4 infants (newborns) from the foster care system and still foster parent to this day (they are on baby number 53!). So, now you can get babies through foster care. Just putting that out there. We were looking into adoption ourselves. My father was adopted, and I would love to adopt as well.
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