So another inspection of dog pee, now that Ruby has been off the antibiotic for some days, revealed NO crystals(!), no white blood cells, and no bacteria. Dr. Bracken said he did see a few red blood cells, but he thinks that could be an aftermath that should dissipate in the near future. He doesn't want to prescribe another round of antibiotics, because he's pretty sure the thing is…

LOL! Okay, this is all my fault. And it's not funny, but what the heck...it struck me as hilarious.

We're in the office watching reruns of Desperate Housewives on the giant iMac and cackling away at a particularly funny episode. Time to knock it off, though, and go to bed, so it's "Back to Browse" for Netflix and "Sleep" for the computer and soon, I imagine, "sleep" for the human and the dawgs. We trot out to the kitchen to let the pooches out for a final policing of…

As dawn cracked, it was OUT THE DOOR with Cassie and Ruby lashed up at the ends of our weird new double-doggy leash. Although we've been doing short doggy walks around the block, this was Ruby's first mile-long expedition.

Actually, it's more like a mile and a half: the house is a quarter-mile from the park, and the park is exactly one mile around, as measured…

So I'm sitting outside on the back porch working on some stuff for one of the graphic designers, a little project that goes on and on and on and.... The house's doors are closed, because it's warm and the AC is on. I hear a beeping noise. An insistent beeping noise.

The neighbor has a truck that beeps like that. Beep beep beep freaking BEEP. It takes awhile before I realize whatever the racket is, it's not the dude's accursed truck. So I get up to investigate and lo! The house…

Well, we've about finished the first full week of the second ten-day round of antibiotics for Ruby the Corgi Pup's UTI. Whether she's "cured" (or about to be) remains to be seen; I'm supposed to take another urine sample in to Dr. Bracken next Friday.

She's peeing on the floor much less frequently. And the gross odor is almost gone. Not so much syrupy urine is getting stuck on the fur between her cute little hind legs, and so she doesn't stink all the time, nor does…

Okay! This afternoon it was off to Dr. Bracken, the wonderful vet who used to care for Walt the Greyhound and Anna the GerShep, whom I abandoned only because his practice is a long drive from home.

He examined Ruby the Ailing Corgi Pup and pronounced her fundamentally very strong and healthy. Said she's on target for her weight, her fur and eyes and ears and all that are excellent. He examined the urine I extracted from her about an hour before he arrived and reported that…

So...who ate the ant bait? That's the question.

Every now and again, The Ondt Queen lays siege to the Funny Farm. She sends her Myrmidons into the breach, swarms the kitchen floor, and attacks her favorite target, the dishwasher. The only way to beat back these hordes is with ant bait. To protect the dogs, I cover the baits with old electric-fan cages. You can take a cheap fan apart, providing two conveniently basket-sized cages that are perfect for keeping critters out of…

Ruby the Corgi Pup still has a puppy voice, but she believes herself to be fierce. Very fierce. So this morning when the religious pests showed up at the door, it was not WOOF WOOF WOOF! or ARF ARF ARF! or even the stately WARF! emitted by the Queen of the Universe or (thank heavens) Her Elevated Majesty's most enraged AAAARGHFFFF ROAR SNORT GARRRRGGGGGGHHHFFFFF!!!!!!, but RAH! RAH! RAH! RAH! RAH! RAH!

Like an especially shrill…

So today we learned that Ruby the House-Training-Resistant Corgi has blood in her urine. So folks here who speculated that she might have a UTI could be right. We shall see: we came away this afternoon with ten days' worth of antibiotics. If that doesn't help, then she'll need an expensive set of X-rays.

The vet thinks she's too young to have crystals in her urinary tract. And as for the  Big C, she didn't rule it out but said it would be "very uncommon" in such a young…

When you live here in the 'hood, your morons are your neighbors...uhm, that is, your neighbors can be morons.

Cattycorner across the alley is a guy who inherited the house from his father, apparently because he (the guy) is not the sort who is competent to purchase a house. The place has run down and down and down (the drain!) since the old couple died, and this jerk shows no sign of moving. Or being arrested.

So Charley, my son's dopey golden retriever, is out…

This noon my son dropped by and left the 90-pound Charley the Golden Retriever in my care. He -- son -- is headed off to Grand Junction, Colorado, with his father, uncle, and that tribe to celebrate his grandmother's 100th birthday. He'll be gone four days, and Charley is here, casa mia, for some free boarding.

I…

Now this is ridiculous. This is hilarious!

This morning, Pup discovered that water bowls are good for something other than holding stuff to drink. Water bowls are excellent to play in!

Lo! You can put your front feet in a water bowl. They get all WET! Better yet, they make splashing noises! They slop water on the patio floor! Ohhhh, cool!

Now here's the amazing part: she figured out that she could stick her schnozz into the water, blow…

Cassie has names for her many toys. True! She actually recognizes them by name and will fetch a specific item when asked, say, to "Get the Bluebird of Happiness!" These critters come from Costco in gigantic batches, so she has a multitude of the things; in the case of the goofy-looking birds, there's the Bluebird of Happiness and the Redbird of Joy and the Pinkbird of Ecstasy...and amazingly, she actually can identify them by name.

At any rate, one of these objects is a…

Crawling into the sack with a glass of wine and a handful of chocolate chips instead of a muscle-decramping pill, which is probably more indicated than the potable. But last night's pill made today more or less livable, and after the day's frolics, I deserve a something tastier than a pink tablet.

Let's start, though, by saying we've had to clean up only one puppy puddle today, a decided improvement over six or eight. Goooood pup!

So that's good. One excellent…

Yes! It's true! Yesterday Ruby the Corgi Puppy managed to get through the entire day without depositing a puddle for me to clean up.

Since the average has been about six or eight clean-ups, that's an accomplishment.

There's a trick to it, though: Yesterday …

Oh, dear. Did you know that puppies can recognize each other and, like teenaged humans, gang up against the Old Folks?

Yesh. They don't have to be the same breed, either.

This morning my son called as dawn cracked, asking if I'd dog-sit Charley the Golden Retriever, who, we were told, has the gollywobbles.

This is a dog for whom…

So Ruby-Doo the Corgi Pup (we could call her the Queen of the Universe's Crown Jewel) is growing nicely. She's gained a little over three pounds since her last set of puppy shots: up to a shade over seven pounds and beginning to look more and more like a dog. An excruciatingly cute little dog.

Meanwhile, Her Royal Exalted Highness has been putting on weight, too.

Uh oh.

She's been at her ideal weight (around 23 to 25 pounds) since she deigned to…

Sooo... the American Kennel Club has been importuning me to purchase any number of services and products for  Ruby-Doo the Corgi Pup, even though sometime in the next five or six months she will be spayed, and even though the rankest amateur can see at a glance that she is not, repeat NOT, a show-quality corgi. And that is even though pup's registration papers distinctly state "OFFSPRING OF THIS DOG NOT ELIGIBLE FOR REGISTRATION."

In addition to …

So Ruby-Doo the Baby Corgi was doing pretty well in the house-training department until she fell in the drink. Since then, she's forgotten a fair amount of Technique. She's doing OK with No. 2, but as for No. 1: the fount flows exuberantly and endlessly.

I'm afraid I caused one of my readers to have an accident in…

On the QV every minute since Pup tumbled into the deep end of the pool, I realized that something had to be done to forestall a repeat of that adventure. Pup needs to be able to go outside without Human dithering over her every moment, and Human's nervous breakdown must be forestalled.

What to do that would be navigable for the human but nonnavigable for the canine? And preferably not TOO…